Signs that you're in love with your best friend
by meeka-eela
Summary: Roxas might have a little problem. Because, even if he won't admit it to himself, he has somehow managed to fall in love with his best friend. And the attraction is hard to ignore when all the signs are there. Rated T for language. COMPLETE.
1. Jealousy

**Disclaimer: i claim no ownership to Kingdom Hearts, its characters or the awesomeness that is Akuroku. I also do not own Good Charlotte's song 'Keep Your Hands Off My Girl'. Right. Now no one can sue me. **

**Enjoy, guys :)**

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1. You get jealous.

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**"Well, I'm just a fool for you and I think I'm going crazy**

**I can't control myself or contain my thoughts**

**It's eating me up inside."**

**-Forever the Sickest Kids_Phone Call**

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Roxas did not believe in love and neither did he believe in infatuation.

At least... that's what he kept telling himself when the irrational tendrils of jealousy wove themselves through his internal organs, choking him with confusion. His hand made its way through his unruly blonde hair and he tried to calm his breathing. There was no reason to be jealous; Axel danced with girls all the time –why should it be any different now?

That is, if you could even label the emotion that he was experiencing as 'jealousy'. As far as he was concerned it was just annoyance at the fact that Axel had promised that they were going to the party together (as friends, of course) and Roxas had kind of hoped that that would have meant that they would have been at each other's sides the whole night.

He shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind; his internal ramblings were starting to make no sense. Why in the world was it such a big deal that Axel had ditched him? They were not a couple. And, even in his slightly drunken state, Roxas would never admit to anyone that he wanted anything like that.

Him and Axel together?

Insanity.

His eyes drifted once more to his best friend, Axel, as he grinded along to the beat with the third slutty girl that night. Axel wasn't bad looking, so it wasn't as if he had to try hard to get the girls. Hell, all he had to do was smile at them in that seductive way of his and the girls practically dropped their pants.

And no, he had not just described his best friend's smile as seductive.

Good Charlotte's 'Keep Your Hands Off My Girl' blasted from the speakers that were placed around the room, but even one of his favourite songs couldn't get Roxas to move from the spot that he was rooted to in that crowded living room. He couldn't dance like all the other intoxicated teenagers around him, no matter how much he wanted to. He couldn't join in as they moved their bodies to the beat, hiding the fact that they were just trying to feel up their dance partner as much as possible.

No, instead he watched his best friend, drinking in the sight of his cherry red hair, as random pieces of his bangs stuck to his forehead due to the perspiration caused by dancing, and the way that his body moved to the beat.

"_**The way that you dance,**__**  
**__**The way that you move,**__**  
**__**The way that you stare at me across the room"**_

The girl wasn't important.

Sure, she was pretty like every other girl at the hormone driven party, but, even as the girl's skirt rode up higher on her thighs, Roxas' eyes were trained on Axel. He tried to explain to his alcohol hazed mind that it wasn't normal to want to want to replace the girl in that scene, and have Axel's hands on him instead. That it wasn't normal to want to have Axel's face just mere centimetres from his own, or to simply just... want Axel in the first place.

Best friends don't grope each other.

Best friends don't want to grope each other.

The red head suddenly looked up and, upon catching Roxas's gaze, grinned widely. The overwhelming urge to punch the parasitic girl that had attached herself to Axel became almost too tempting to Roxas as one word ran through his mind.

_Mine._

"_**I got a model 26,**__**  
**__**But she stays in her place,**__**  
**__**I got a Kershaw neatly,**__**  
**__**Tucked inside in my waist"**_

He froze as an arm wrapped itself around his waist and a voice whispered hotly into his ear.

"So why is pretty little Roxas making sex eyes at darling Axel?" The voice taunted quietly, "Do I sense some sexual tension between friends?"

Sex eyes.

The term used to describe the half-lidded, lust-filled gaze that an individual gives to the person that they are trying to entice.

"Sex eyes? At Axel? Ha! T-that's hilarious, Larxene." Roxas spluttered, pushing himself out of the embrace of the taller blonde. He mentally chided himself for making it so obvious that he was watching his best friend with uncensored lust. Even in the dim lighting of the room, Roxas could see one of Larxene's perfectly shaped eyebrows arch up in silent enquiry.

"So exactly why are you staring at him like you wanna fuck him right there on the dance floor?" She asked, the amusement clearly evident in her tone.

"I...uh, "Roxas searched frantically through his alcohol numbed brain for a reasonable excuse, "he's my ride home!" he almost shouted, pleased with himself for the believable lie. "Yeah...he's my ride home and he's completely drunk out of his mind and now I'm going to have to drive us home and you know that I hate driving at night because I just got my licence not that long ago and... I need more punch. Like now." And with that he turned on his heel and left.

"_**And the record keeps playing,**__**  
**__**The same old song,**__**  
**__**The hipsters mean mugging on me all night long"**_

XXXXX

"Hey, Rox. You ready to leave?" Axel asked when he found his shorter, blonde counterpart.

"Yeah, let's go. I'm over this party." Roxas muttered as he shrugged on his jacket and headed for the front door of Demyx's house. Axel stared at him in surprised confusion.

"What? Rox, you have to be screwing with me. You're screwing with me, right?" he looked at the blonde and, after getting no reply aside from the icy glare that Roxas sent him, threw his hands up in mock surrender.

"Dude, I will never understand you. This was like... one of the best parties that Demyx has ever thrown!" Roxas didn't say anything, he just grabbed Axel's arm and made his way to Axel's car.

XXXXX

"So did little Roxas tell you why he was sending sex eyes in the direction of Axel?" Demyx asked Larxene when she came to join him outside. The party had yet to die out and Demyx could already see the sky lightening as dawn threatened to break. But school had ended for the term and no one really wanted to go home and face reality just yet.

"He said that he was pissed 'cause Axel was 'drunk out of his mind'," she indicated the quotations with her fingers, "and that meant that he would have to drive home." Larxene answered as a smirk made itself known across her features. She seated herself next to Demyx on the grass before looking around at the thrashed backyard. She sighed. "This is going to be such a bitch to clean up."

Demyx beamed at her before dismissing her statement with a lazy wave of his hand. "We'll worry about that later. So, are you telling me that Roxas failed to notice that Axel didn't consume a single drop of alcohol tonight?"

"No. I'm telling you that our dear Roxas lied."

Demyx stretched lazily and laid himself out on the grass, resting his head on his folded hands. "Now why would Roxas lie, Larxene?"

"Roxas lied, Demyx –because we were right. Roxas is in love with Axel, but is too stupid to realise it."

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**Okay, so that is the first chapter. i'm hoping to make this into at least ten chapters (which is a big thing for me since my attention span is pretty much non-existent). **  
**i'd love to hear from you! Because, as always, feedback is greatly appreciated :)**

**a HUGE thanks to my editor Daniel Jasper for just being amazing. Check out her stories. She's f-wording talented. **

**Oh, and if you have any signs of your own...please tell me. i need ideas for the later chapters XD **  
**i'll credit you for the idea if i do use it!**

**i hope to get the next chapter up soon...but i am in my final year of high school so school tends to get in the way of, well, EVERYTHING. **


	2. Touch

**Disclaimer: i claim no ownership to Kingdom Hearts or the lyrics mentioned in this fanfiction. **

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2. Something as simple as a smile, or a brush of hands, makes your heart skip a beat.

"_**Well here I am. **_

_**I don't know how to say this. **_

_**The only thing I know is awkward silence."**_

_** ~Saves the Day_Freakish**_

"Whoa, Rox, mind slowing down there for a sec? You're close to yanking my arm out of its socket." Axel called out, stumbling to keep up to the small blonde that had his arm in a vice-like grip. Roxas immediately let go, turning around to face the car so that Axel wouldn't see the blush that was now slowly creeping onto his cheeks.

"Sorry." He mumbled, keeping his eyes trained onto the ground and stuffing his now-Axelless hand into the pocket of his hoodie. Axel stood a few metres away from his car, wincing dramatically as he rubbed his abused arm. He noticed that Roxas had stopped as well, but instead of rolling his eyes and calling Axel a wuss for complaining, he simply stood, motionless, and stared at the pavement. Axel furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before reaching out a hand to place on his best friend's shoulder.

"Dude, what's up with you- you've been acting weird all night. Is something wrong?"

And here it was. The reason for his weirdness.

All Axel did was place a friendly hand on his shoulder as a display of friendship, but that simple touch had his whole body on high alert as an involuntary shiver ran down his spine.

What was wrong with him?

This was his best friend! Not a primary school crush!

"I-i uh..." Roxas took a deep breath in order to calm himself.

Damn his stupid hormones.

"I guess that I'm just a little upset that we didn't spend any time together at the party." He paused, and winced at how pathetic he sounded, "As friends, you know, like we said that we would." He added quickly and was glad that his back was still facing Axel. He could almost see the smirk start to form on the red-head's lips as he prepared a remark regarding Roxas's clinginess.

But nothing of that nature followed.

Instead, Roxas's eyes widened in shock when Axel walked over to where he stood to position himself in front of the blonde, green eyes looking downcast as a sheepish smile adorned those familiar features.

"I guess I kinda messed up, hey?" his voice, instead of the teasing, smug tone that Roxas expected to hear, was soft and apologetic.

Roxas fought back the urge take a step closer to the red head in front of him and instead answered with a feeble "Yeah."

Suddenly a bright smile cut across Axel's features.

"I should make it up to you!" he exclaimed, looking Roxas in the eyes at last, "no, I HAVE to make it up to you! Come on, I'm taking you out, we're getting pancakes and it's my treat." With that last statement he happily threw his arm around his best friend's shoulders and pulled him close to his side. He failed to notice, however, how hard Roxas was trying to hide the fact that his body tensed up as soon as Axel had crossed his personal boundary mark. It was ridiculous, really, how what they had done countless times before, the simple 'arm over the shoulder' friendly gesture, now made him feel like every part of body was on sensory over-drive. He felt Axel's hand as it unintentionally brushed against the exposed skin on his neck, watched Axel's mouth as he excitedly spoke about...something, and he inhaled the scent that was so distinctly Axel. He always smelled the same; regardless of the cologne that he was wearing...there was always the undertone of smoke and cinnamon. And not cigarette smoke either, but the smoke that you get from setting something alight. It reminded Roxas of the previous summer, when they had all spent a random Saturday night sitting around an illegal bonfire on a private beach. Everything was fine until the group's infamous pyromaniac had gotten a little too fire happy and caught alight trying to get as close to the fire as he possibly could. Roxas chuckled when he recalled the hysteria that resulted as everyone raced to try and extinguish Axel. By the end of the fiasco Roxas had collapsed on the sand in a fit of laughter as a very sheepish looking Axel apologized to everyone.

"Whatcha giggling about there, Blondie?" Axel's voice so close to his ear brought Roxas out of his thoughts and of course resulted in a very flustered Roxas.

"Ha, that wasn't giggling- it was a very manly chuckle. From a very manly man." He said, trying to cover up his unexplained nervousness.

Well, it wasn't really unexplained, was it?

"Manly? Roxie, you're too cute to be manly." Axel laughed, nuzzling his face into Roxas's neck, "this much cuteness on one person should be illegal."

Roxas laughed in surprise, using the compliment to his looks/ insult to his manliness as an excuse to playfully shove the red-head away from himself.

"I am NOT cute!" he exclaimed, crossing his arms in mock anger.

"well, of course you are, Roxie!" axel protested, placing his hands on his hips as if reprimanding his best friend for his inability to see his own cuteness, "look at you, with the cherubic-like face and those blue eyes...you're like the personification of cute."

Roxas merely rolled his eyes and leaned against the door of the passenger seat in Axel's car.

"Keep going at this rate, and I'm gonna order enough pancakes to make you broke."

Axel grimaced at Roxas before unlocking his door and climbing in.

"Ouch Roxie. And here I thought that we were friends." He said, leaning over to unlock Roxas's door as well.

"I am your friend, "the blonde said, as he climbed in, a smirk on his lips, "but a special kind of friend. I'm like...a friend and a bully all rolled into one."

He paused for a moment in thought. "I'm a frully."

Axel laughed before looking over to him.

"Frully? Really Roxie?"

A nudge was administered to Axel's arm.

"What's up with the sudden abuse of my name? I do not approve of 'Roxie'."

"Aww, but why? It's a manly name for a manly guy."

"Yes. Because nothing screams masculinity like a chick's name."

"Exactly."

Roxas laughed as he searched through the radio stations for something worth listening to, shaking his head with a grin visible on his face.

Roxas smiled when the familiar building came into view.

'Christmas Town Diner- where it's Christmas every day.'

No, really. That's what it said on their sign above the door, right next to the 'Santa does not work here.' sign. They had found the establishment one day after Axel had downed almost four cans of soda before realizing that his bladder was not as indestructible as he thought it was, meaning that they had to make an unscheduled pit-stop. As it would have been rude to just use their bathroom and then leave, they decided to order something as well based on Axel's deduction that " The food has to be good, Rox, I mean...it even SMELLS like Christmas in here."

And it was.

Roxas would eat at Christmas Town everyday if his wallet allowed for it.

"Right," Roxas announced, unbuckling his seat belt and grinning in his best friend's direction, "It's time that we got me some pancakes!"

Axel shook his head sadly as he prepared to jump out of the car, locking Roxas's door once he had climbed out.

"Remember buddy, "he said, pointing his index finger at Roxas in a teacherly manner, "I'm a broke student, so think of my wallet and not of the bottomless pit that is your stomach when you order?"

"But axel..." Roxas started, clutching at his heart in a dramatic manner, "don't I deserve all the pancakes that my little, fragile and bruised heart desires?" they reached the door of the diner and axel rolled his eyes before letting himself in.

"Really Rox, don't you think that you've guilt tripped me enough today?"

"Nope."

"ANYWAY," Axel said, shooting a glare over at Roxas, "you didn't have to sulk for the duration of the party. You knew just as many people there as I did."

They didn't even bother to wait for the waitress on duty to seat them; they had been here so many times before that the owner had even joked about putting up a sign and calling the table the 'Akuroku corner.' The first time that they had heard it they had both, in confusion, asked what the word meant. And the owner informed them that it was the hybrid of the Japanese version of their names. Turns out that the owner studied linguistics or something in his spare time. Although the legitimacy of the statement could be debated, for all they knew 'Akuroku' could mean 'giant rainbow hedgehog', they never really questioned it. It just felt nice to walk into a place that was so friendly and home-like to them. As soon as Roxas was seated, Axel tossed his car keys to him and started to walk away.

"Are you kidding me?!" Roxas cried, exasperated, "do you have to take a leak EVERYTIME we come here?"

Axel turned, his trademark sheepish grin already on his lips, shrugging his shoulders as he walked backwards in the direction of the bathroom.

"What can I say; my bladder really likes this place."

By the time that Axel returned, Roxas had already ordered their food and was checking his phone for any messages or missed calls. He didn't even have to ask Axel for his order, when it came to pancakes he always ordered the same thing. Good ol' normal pancakes. Because, to quote a certain red-headed pyromaniac, "These taste too good to ruin with other...stuff."

He looked up when he detected Axel's presence near the table and grinned.

"You're back from your little bathroom adventure?"

Axel pulled a face before sitting on the bench opposite his best friend.

"Don't say 'bathroom adventure'. It sounds like a cheap porno."

Roxas laughed before drawing his legs up so he could sit cross legged on the diner's plush bench.

"Hey boys," their waitress greeted before setting their food down in front of them, "enjoy and if you need anything else just give me a shout."

The thing about the diner was that even though they went to eat there so often, it was difficult to keep track of the staff that worked there. Because there was a university and several high schools situated in the area, many students worked at the diner until they had enough money for whatever they were saving up for, or they just realised that they couldn't balance work and studies. This meant that there was almost always a new face in the diner whenever they went there.

The waitress smiled at Roxas but when her gaze settled on Axel the smile morphed from a 'I'm smiling so that you'll tip me' into something relating more to 'Hey, I wanna get in your pants.' Roxas immediately felt involuntary anger shoot through his veins as he watched the flirty exchange.

"Thanks..." Axel trailed off as he searched her uniform shirt for a name badge, "Naminé? Nice name. "

The waitress, blonde and innocently cute and fragile looking, giggled. A faint blush was starting to taint her pale and delicate features.

She was pretty.

Gorgeous, in fact.

And that just made Roxas search harder for a flaw in her appearance.

He eventually gave up and settled on the assumption that she probably had webbed feet.

Or was really a man.

He angrily glared at her before spitting out a cold "Thanks, we'll call if we need anything."

The girl stammered out a startled sounding "S-sure" before rushing back to her station.

He stared down angrily at his chocolate-chip, Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes and realised how stupid he was being.

Axel was not his. They were not in a relationship. Best friends can flirt with girls in front of best friends.

He took a deep breath in an attempt to console himself and plastered a smile on his face.

"She's...uh, she's really pretty, isn't she?" he asked, stabbing at his pancakes with a little more force than the task required.

Axel picked up his own fork and started to tuck into his own plate of pancakes.

"Naminé? Yeah...she is pretty." He brought the fork laden with golden pancakey goodness to his mouth and chewed quickly before adding on another thought to his previous statement. "She kinda reminds me of you. Just...more pale, and you know...more girl-like."

"...oh, wow. Thanks." Roxas rolled his eyes and tried to keep his voice carefree even though the comparison had caused a stab of pain through his internal organs, "so far this night you've succeeded in insulting my masculinity on like, four different occasions."

"Aww, Roxie, you look so cute when you're fake angry!"

"Make that five."

Axel laughed, and as that sound rang through Roxas's ears, all the tension and awkwardness that Roxas's mind had created disappeared and he was able to enjoy the fact that he was having pancakes with his best friend in a crazy, Christmas themed diner at 5am on a Saturday morning.

"And then I was forced into wearing the stupid hat as well because Dem has this insane ability to guilt trip you into doing just about anything as soon as he pulls out his secret weapon."

Roxas laughed, enjoying this special 'Axel storytelling time' that came with very dramatic hand gestures and enough enthusiasm to make you want to pay attention to him.

"And what is Demyx's secret weapon?" Roxas asked, his curiosity rising.

"His damn puppy dog eyes. I swear that half the crazy shit that I've gotten in trouble for has been because of that damn music-crazed-"

Axel stopped talking because Roxas had, unintentionally, leaned forward in his seat and swept the pad of his thumb across the corner of Axel's lip, removing the smear of syrup that Roxas had spotted.

Silence followed as Roxas's brain finally caught up to his body's action and he fought to keep from running. He was so focused on that that he missed the fierce blush that covered Axel's cheeks, and the way that Axel was looking at him.

"Er...it's getting late. We should go." Roxas said, standing up and dusting crumbs from his shirt, all the while keeping his eyes settled on anything but his best friend.

"Y-yeah."

Roxas walked to the door of the diner, sending a smile to the nervous looking Naminé. He knew that she was probably going to give Axel her number once she rang up their bill.

And even though he knew that it was going to happen, seeing Axel slip that little piece of paper into his pocket, as he smiled and flirted with her, hurt more than it was meant to.

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**Well, hi there.  
i'm actually pretty proud of the fact that i got this chapter out so soon espeically since school has been so hardcore recently. Teachers seem to think that they have to keep CONSTANTLY reminding us to study hard for the upcoming exams...like we don't already know that. -.-  
Anyway. **

**HUUUUUUGE thank yous to ****memwwms, sakurasapprentice7, RisuMisu , and Moka nee-chan for reviewing.  
You guys rock.  
Also, huge thanks to everyone who favourited, alerted or just read this.**

**i hope that you enjoy it :) **

**oh, and of course...feedback is appreicated :D**


	3. Looks

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to anything in this that could possibly get me sued. **

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3. You'll stare at them when they talk to you and go into a sort of daze.

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**"I'm going crazy and I've been awake for days,**

**My mirrors are stained with painted portraits of your face."**

**-The Cab_One of those Nights**

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"Roxas? Are you even listening to me?"

Roxas jerked out of his dazed state when he felt a potato chip hit him lightly in the face. He stared at the chip for a few seconds before his senses came back to him, and he finally realised what had just happened.

"Hey! What was that for?!"

"I was talking to you, and you weren't listening. So I got angry, and threw a chip at you. Simple." The potato chip thrower, Hayner, stated calmly before taking a sip of his soda. Roxas rubbed his neck while smiling at his friend sheepishly.

"Oh..," he replied, playing with the ring of condensation that his can of soda had left on one of the cold concrete surfaces of the university's outdoor tables, "er... what were you talking about?"

Hayner sighed, more dramatically than needed in Roxas's opinion, and narrowed his eyes at his friend. "Who were you looking at, exactly?" he turned his gaze so that he was looking in the same direction as Roxas was before he assaulted him with the chip.

Roxas felt his face heat up as embarrassment bubbled up inside him.

"NOTHING! I was looking at...uh, nothing."

Hayner rolled his eyes and carried on searching the almost uninhabited field. It was the middle of winter, and although it never really got that cold in Twilight Town, most of the other students preferred to spend their time inside instead of on the chilly fields.

"Yes, Roxas, because you screaming 'nothing' in that desperately guilty voice makes me totally believe you," he paused and scrunched up his brow in confusion as he turned to look at his blonde, and now red-faced, friend, "I don't get it. The only person there is Axel."

Axel was indeed the only person there in Roxas' line of vision. The red-head often spent most of his time in-between classes smoking by himself as none of his friends really appreciated the second hand smoke that his habit gifted them with.

Turns out that people liked their lungs nicotine free.

And that's what Roxas had been staring at when Hayner had caught him.

Roxas wasn't very fond of smokers, the very thought of the smell of smoke would have him feeling nauseated in a heartbeat. But that was before Axel had taken up the habit. He still hated smokers, but he loved it when Axel smoked. It was just improbable that the red-head could make something so socially unaccepted and bad, look so fucking... _sexy._

He stood, leaning over the fence, with his red hair, that everyone kept telling him to cut, tied back with small band. His faded grey jeans had seen better days, and the shirt that he wore was just a plain black one that Roxas had seen his best friend wear countless times before, and had worn a few times himself. Adorned on Axel's feet was a pair of jet-black combat boots that had not, almost certainly, been polished in months... but it was all just so distinctly... Axel.

There was nothing different about Axel... Roxas felt as if he was looking at his friend in a whole new light.

A whole new lust-tinted light.

Seriously, when had Axel's looks become _so_ distracting?

Said person had just finished his cigarette and, upon turning, had noticed that Hayner and Roxas were looking at him. Roxas with red-faced embarrassment and guilt evident on his features, and Hayner with confusion etched on his. He grinned at them widely before smothering the butt of his smoke in the sand and made his way over to them lazily.

"Wait... were you staring at Axel? I mean... before?" Hayner quickly chipped in.

Roxas felt his defences go up as he tried to sound as detached as possible. "I wasn't staring. I was... just waiting for him to make eye contact so I could call him over."

"Oh, it's just that...the way your face went red and stuff... it sorta looked like you were blushing... and if you were blushing because of Axel that would mean-"

"Drop it Hayner."

**XxXx**

Everyone always said that Roxas and Axel were an unlikely pair.

Or to put it into their words "Is Axel bullying you into being his friend? Blink twice for no and scream 'help' for yes."

But to them it just seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

They were never apart for long, but when those rare moments of separation did occur it was as if no time had passed between them at all. When they saw each other again, they immediately fell back into their normal banter and teasing.

Axel hadn't always lived in Twilight Town. In fact, he had only moved to the sleepy town when Roxas was ten and he was twelve. The school had quickly become abuzz with the rumours and speculations that followed a new kid in such a small town. People were always leaving Twilight Town; those that chose to enter it were seen as gossip-worthy. And Axel was definitely worth the gossip.

From day one the pyromaniac had spread mayhem everywhere he passed, earning him a reputation even with those that had yet to meet him. And so it had come as a huge surprise to everyone when the boy with fire-red hair and 'don't-give-a-fuck' attitude had come up to Roxas, the quiet, blonde son of a respected people in the community –who had never caused any trouble and played well with his peers, and embraced him like they were long-lost friends.

Which, incidentally, they were.

Roxas and Axel had grown up together, were best friends from birth practically, until Roxas's dad had decided to uproot his family and move them to Twilight Town when Roxas had turned four.

No one, however, was as surprised as Roxas when Axel, after hugging him in the middle of the school's sports field had simply announced: "The name's Axel. A-X-E-L. We were best friends when we were younger so we're gonna be best friends now, got it memorized?"

To which Roxas had replied, in astonishment and in awe of this crazy kid with the bright envy-green eyes, "Er...sure. I'm Roxas."

"I know who you are, Roxas."

And it was as if they had never been apart.

**XxXx**

"Hey, Roxas, are you with us pal?"

"Oh, don't worry. He's been doing that a lot today."

Roxas blinked when Axel's face was suddenly REALLY close to his own and very quickly invading his personal space. He placed his hand, palm down, onto his friend's face to push it away from his own.

"Personal space invasion, much Axel?"

And of course Axel saw this as a challenge.

"Aww, but Roxy! When has personal space ever been an issue with us? My personal space bubble is your personal space bubble!" and with that said he proceeded to place himself so close to Roxas on the concrete bench of the table that he might as well have been on Roxas's lap.

"Remind me why I'm friends with you again?" he muttered when Axel's cheek was pressed up against his own, the heat from his best friend's face doing nothing to cool the fierce blush currently assaulting his face and neck.

"Because no one else wants to hang out with you?" Hayner chirped from his side of the table, happily stuffing a chip into his mouth.

Roxas raised a golden eyebrow at his friend, trying not to notice that Axel's hands were trying to make their way into his hoodie's pockets.

"You hang out with me." He pointed out.

"Yeah..." Hayner grinned, his eyes shining mischievously, "but you're, like, my charity case. Hanging out with you is my way of giving back to the community."

Axel's face pulled away from his own and he saw the red-head throw his head back as he let out a loud laugh. Roxas tried really hard not to stare, especially after being caught out once already today, but he couldn't help himself. His best friend really had the most amazing laugh, and his whole face seemed to come alive when he did so.

Not to say that Axel didn't always look alive because, to Roxas, it seemed as if his friend was _always_ radiating energy and life. It's one of the things that made Axel such a social magnet, one of the reasons that Axel, despite his eccentric behaviour, was always surrounded by people. They were drawn to his energy, and they wanted to be as every much as alive as he was.

"Well, " Hayner announced, standing up and scrunching up the now empty chip packet, "I have to go find Olette and Pence before Olette goes all psycho and threatens to burn all my notes for being late again."

"Burn?" Axel repeated, eagerly.

"Down, pyro. I need those notes." Hayner rolled his eyes before smiling at the pair, "see you guys later?"

Roxas returned the smile. "Yeah, see you later Hay."

They watched their friend walk away in silence for a few minutes before Axel snapped out of it. He stood up and went to occupy the space that Hayner had vacated.

"So, what were you guys talking about earlier on, when you were looking in my direction?"

Roxas took one last mouthful of his soda before setting the empty can down on the table. "You."

"Oh really? What about me?" Axel leaned forward, resting his face on his hands as a grin made its way onto his features.

Roxas rolled his eyes at his friend's antics and decided to play along. "Oh, nothing really. Just your drop-dead good looks and captivating personality."

"Aww, Roxy thinks I'm pretty?"

"The prettiest."

Axel grinned at him before his eyes widened and he quickly stood up. Roxas watched his friend in confusion.

"Dude! I have something that I wanted you to listen to!" after sticking his hand into one of the pockets of his jeans, he extracted his phone and started to search through his songs. Once he was seated and the intro of the song started playing, Axel allowed his eyes to drift closed as he drummed his fingers to the beat on the table.

Axel loved his music, he might always bitch about the fact that his parents had never given him the chance to learn a musical instrument but it never held him back from appreciating the art that was music. Roxas tried to keep his attention on the song as the artist belted out lyrics of heartbreak and lost love... But he found his eyes drifting to his best friend's face by their own accord.

It was almost comical how he only realised that his best friend was attractive after almost nine years of friendship. It wasn't as if he wasn't aware of Axel's looks previously, he had always known that Axel was attractive. But somehow, now, the attractiveness made his heart rate speed up and his mouth turn dry as he fought to keep his 'I'm-not-attracted-to-you-because-we're-just-friends' facade up.

Roxas sighed and ran his hands over his face as his blissfully oblivious friend continued to nod his head to the music.

This whole 'love' thing really was an inconvenience.

* * *

**School is such an inconvenience. **

**Seriously. Every time I wanted to sit down and work on this chapter, something else took up all my time. I actually have an English exam that I'm meant to be studying for, but it's just creative writing, so I can wing it...right?**

**Just so you all know, as much as i would love to have chapter updates be a weekly deal...my exams are coming up scaringly (lolz, that's not a word) soon, so updates may be a little delayed. But i promise to not forget about this story. i'd hate myself if i did :/**

**Thanks to fallenofthedark, Kuro Yoshi, sakurasapprentice7 , Free water-drop wind , and Moka nee-chan for reviewing the last chapter.**

**Y****ou guys are amazing.**

** Also, thank you to everyone who has favourite, alerted, or just taken the time to read this. You all rock :D**

**Oh, and Happy Akuroku day! Yay for fan awesomeness and obsessiveness and for the super amazingness that is Akuroku :D **


	4. Excuses

**Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership to anything in this following chapter that could get me sued.**

**I also do not own the lyrics that are used in this chapter which are taken from the 'Blood on the dancefloor' song called 'Scream for my ice-cream' The lyrics to that song are so...wrong and bad, but the song is catchy. Yup, that's my excuse for using it. **

* * *

4. You find any excuse to talk to them, and sometimes over do it.

* * *

**"I've been playing too much guitar,**

**I've been listening to jazz. **

**I called so many times, **

**I swear [he's] going mad. **

**And that cellular will be the death of us**

**I swear."**

**-NeverShoutNever_Trouble**

* * *

**New Text message received from: Axel **

**(20:09)**

Hey, Rox.

I tried calling u but...well, I guess u're busy or something.

U're gonna love me when u hear what I have to say.

I have awesome news.

So call me back, dumbass.

* * *

**New text message received from: Roxas **

**(23:56)**

Now why aren't you picking up?!

I wanna know what this big news is!

* * *

**New text messages received from: Roxas**

**(01:49)**

AXEEEEEEL

Damnit, are you sulking or something?

Is this revenge for me not picking up earlier?

* * *

**New text messages received from: Roxas**

**(02:58)**

Okay.

I'm calling you again and hopefully you'll pick up this time.

Twenty-third times's the charm.

* * *

'_She's melting_

_She's melting._

_Oh, oh, oh. She licked me like ice cream._

_Dipping with my dipper _

_We be drinking up the liqu-'"_

"Nhh...Hello?"

"Axel?"

"Roxas?"

"Er...yeah...did I wake you up?"

"No. I was totally wide awake."

"I sense sarcasm."

"Lots of it, pal."

"Well, you're awake now. So...uh..."

"Spit it out, Roxy."

"What's the big surprise?"

"..."

"Axel?"

"Dude. It's too late at night for this."

"Actually, it's like 3am. So technically it's morning."

"Oh...Wait. Did you say 3am? DAMNIT ROXAS, IT'S 3AM?!"

"...yes?"

"Goodbye, Roxas."

"Axel?! No! You have to tell me what th-"

_Click._

* * *

There was little that could ever get in the way of Axel's sleep. And unfortunately his inability to say no to the adorable blonde, who was currently in his apartment, was one of his greatest weaknesses.

"I can't believe that I'm awake at 6- IN THE FREAKING MORNING-because you couldn't wait until class started to hear what it was that I had to tell you." He grumbled, his glare ruined by the yawn that overtook him as soon as he finished talking.

"Well, then you shouldn't have told me about it! You know that my level of patience is like...non-existent." Said adorable blonde argued, unintentionally letting a pout form on his lips, "and I was planning on waking you up with coffee."

"Coffee?"

"Yeah..." Roxas trailed off sheepishly, walking to Axel's kitchen, "but there weren't any places open for coffee aside from the one at the garage...and I know how much you hate the coffee from there."

Axel sighed. "Whatever. It's too early in the morning to hate you." He placed his head on his folded arms and attempted to somehow take a five minute power nap so that he wouldn't fall asleep in class that day. His ears perked up slightly when he realised that the flurry if movement coming from his kitchen had stopped. In interest, he looked up, only to almost squeak in surprise when wide blue eyes blinked back at him, centimetres from his face.

"Erm...yes?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow in enquiry.

"Are you going to tell me the news?"

Axel groaned before shaking his head and shoving the blonde away. "You get your news when I get my 'Roxas-is-sorry-for-waking-his-amazingly-hot-friend-up-at-6-in-the-f-wording-morning' breakfast. So, Martha Stewart, get cooking."

Roxas let out an exasperated, and impatient, sigh but nevertheless made his way back to the kitchen. Axel's eyes widened in surprise and he sat up to watch his friend continue working in the kitchen.

Roxas actually listened to him?

Without a sarcastic quip or a violent action thrown into the mix?

This guilt/blackmail thing was working to his advantage and he was willing to milk it for all it was worth.

"Hey, Rox? You know what else would make up for this morning? If you wore an apron while you made me breakfast. Naked."

"Not on your life, pervert."

Oh, well. Breakfast served by a fully clothed Roxas was okay too.

**XxXx**

Axel sat on his couch and patted his stomach contentedly.

"I have to hand it to you, my little blonde amigo...you sure do know how to cook."

Roxas sat in front of him on the floor, cross-legged and eager eyed. Axel chuckled as he took in his friend's appearance; surprises had always been Roxas's weakness.

Axel NEVER opened his own birthday presents. Instead, he just sat back and took in the sight of his best friend as he eagerly tore open the festive wrapping paper and radiated enough excitement for the both of them. the surprise of finding out what lay beneath that brightly coloured paper was enough for the blonde, even of the present wasn't actually his.

From the time they were kids, a routine had been established when it came to certain things and it had become so normal to them that they just didn't really take notice of it anymore.

Kind of like how, whenever they went out to eat and Axel's meal came with a salad, Roxas always ate the salad off Axel's plate since the red-head hated the garnish. When Demyx had once asked why they didn't just ask the waiter to emit the salad, Roxas and Axel had looked at him like he had suggested that they all jump on the table and start performing the Macarena.

Or the fact that Roxas hated speaking on the phone, so when it came to ordering in or phoning customer care-line for whatever reason, the duty fell onto Axel.

They had the routines that they followed and people eventually stopped questioning it and started accepting it as one of those Axel and Roxisms.

It was just something that the two of them did.

"Okay. I'll put you out of your misery," Axel said, a grin appearing on his face as he spoke, "close your eyes."

Roxas frowned but closed his eyes anyway, his fingers tapping on the wooden floor in a tuneless beat of excitement. After a bit of movement in front of him he heard Axel's voice directly in front of him on the floor where they were both seated.

"Open your eyes."

Roxas's eyes flew open and the first thing that he saw was a blurry rectangle in front of his eyes, furrowing his brows in confusion, he placed a hand over Axel's and pulled it away so that the blurry rectangle could be assessed from a distance.

And then realization struck.

"OH MY FREAKING WORD, AXEL, IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS?!" Roxas screamed, blatantly ignoring the fact that the people in Axel's building would not appreciate the scream of a hysterical teenager at such an early hour.

"Yup. A ticket to the two day Organization 13 concert."

Roxas stared at the ticket in his hand in complete shock and disbelief. "You're...you're amazing."

"Oh. I know." Axel replied, resting his arms behind his head and leaning on the couch on the floor, and closing his eyes as a gentle smile took over his features, "I'm the best friend ever." Axel yelped when Roxas suddenly jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly

"I can't believe that you did this! It must have cost so much! Oh my word, I can't believe that we're going to the organization 13 concert...wait!" the blonde suddenly stopped talking and looked at Axel in concern, "you did get yourself a ticket too, right?"

Axel rubbed his neck, looking down at the wooden floor instead of his friend. "Well...the thing is that...yes. Of course I did." he looked up and grinned, waving his own ticket in front of Roxas's face.

"Yes!" and suddenly Axel found himself with an armful of excited blonde once again.

**XxXx**

**New text message received from: Roxas**

**(15:24)**

218 hours until the concert.

I'm so fucking amped: D

Is it lame that I've started a countdown?

It is, isn't it?

Damnit.

* * *

**New text message received from: Axel**

**(15:26)**

Yes, it is kinda lame.

But it's okay, because I'm fucking excited too.

* * *

**New text message received from: Roxas**

**(18:31)**

215 hours.

* * *

Axel laughed when he saw the new text message on his phone, not even in the least bit surprised that it was from Roxas.

"Who is it? Haha, that's a stupid question. The only person who ever texts you is Roxas. Do you even have any other numbers on there or is it just his?" Demyx asked, leaning forward to take a glance at Axel's phone screen. His head tilted in confusion, making him look like a puppy, "215 hours?"

"You look like a puppy when you do that." Axel said as he replaced his cell phone into the front pocket of jeans, "and yeah...Roxas is counting down the hours until the concert." A grin spread across his face when he said this, the excitement that came with the mention of the concert warmed his body and made him want to start skipping like a little girl from excitement and anticipation of it all. But Axel didn't skip.

At least, not in public anyway.

He loved the fact that Roxas was so excited about the concert, and he loved the fact that he was the reason for the blonde's excitement.

"He's counting down the hours until the concert...that's actually a little sad." Demyx shook his head sadly, "Axel that poor kid needs to get out more. He needs more excitement in his life, or better yet...he needs to get laid."

Cue Axel choking on his own spit.

"Well. I don't know what you want me to do about that last part...I'm really not onto the idea of hiring a hooker for Roxas." He managed to say after a coughing fit.

"No one said that you have to hire a hooker." Demyx hinted, a mischievous grin adorning his lips, "I mean, there's so much sexual tension between you guys as it is...why not just give in to it and just fuck the little Blondie?"

Cue Axel's second choking fit.

"WHAT? There is no sexual tension between me and Roxas!" He ran his hands through his gravity defying, red hair and stared at his friend like the blonde man had just suggested mass murder or something.

_Though if I tried to get into Roxie's pants, murder wouldn't be an unlikely event. _The red-head thought to himself.

"Oh, come on, "Demyx snorted, rolling his eyes at Axel's obliviousness, "you guys want each other so bad that it's actually making the rest of us feel uncomfortable."

"...I'm gonna walk away now." Axel said slowly, starting to inch away from Demyx.

"Do it for us, Axel! So we don't have to feel awkward around you and Roxas anymore!"

"Bye, Demyx."

"Do it for us!"

**XxXx**

'_She's melting_

_She's melting._

_Oh, oh, oh. She licked me like ice cream._

_Dipping with my dip-'_

"Roxas, someone better be dying or stuck in a well."

"...I should stop calling at unforgiving hours of the morning?"

"That would be pretty nice, yes."

"Right...sorry Axel. But since you're up..."

* * *

**Yes. It's short...but i'm bored and wanted to post something up instead of studying.  
****Looking for reasons to not study is wonderful motivation to complete a chapter. **

**i know that the chapters are really short..it's just that if i had to make them any longer...i'd have to take a much longer time with each chapter and frankly...i don't have the attention span for that. i will try to make the next chapters longer though :) **

**oh, and i don't know if anyone really noticed, but earlier in the chapter, when Roxas talks about going to the garage to get coffee? i thougth that i should just clarify that a garage is a gas/petrol station. i could have just called it a gas station, but hey, i love complicating things. **

******Anyway. i start exams next week, so the next chapter, although slightly longer, will also probably be late. **

**Now, time for the names that made my week! **

**Moka nee-chan, sakurasapprentice7 and fallenofthedark. Thanks for reviewing the last chapter!**

**Also, thank you to anyone who alerted , favourited, or is just reading this.**

**You're awesome.**

**Yes, you. **


	5. His company is enough

**Disclaimer: Blah, blah don't own, don't sue. Disclaimers are so depressing. **

**Okay, so this chapter is dedicated to fallenofthedark for her freaking kick-ass reviews that always make my day, and really, _really _give me an ego boost.  
Seriously. She flatters me way too much  
****And Moka nee-chan for always reviewing whatever i put up on this site and just for being amazing (i swear that i'll go study soon!)  
**

**Right. So, like, enjoy guys.**

* * *

5. Just being in their company means the world to you- you don't even have to talk, to do anything.  
Just the two of you together is enough.

* * *

"**Shit, nothing makes sense. So I won't think about it. I'll go with the ignorance."**

**-Say Anything_The Futile**

* * *

"I think that I may just implode from excitement."

Axel couldn't help but grin when he looked over at Roxas and saw the excitement and overall happiness that radiated from the blonde. He was really excited himself, both for the concert and for the fact that since the concert was finally here, he wouldn't be receiving anymore calls from his best friend at three in the morning because Roxas wanted to talk about said concert.

It was strange.

Roxas never really showed much in the form of emotion, he rarely got upset or angry. But as soon as something that he loved became involved he suddenly became completely passionate and emotional.

"Right, I guess we better get moving before any spontaneous combustion takes place. I don't really wanna little bits of Roxas messing up my car." Axel replied, keeping his face completely serious despite the grin that twitched at his lips.

Roxas didn't reply, he just stuck his tongue out at his friend before climbing out of Axel's car. By the time that the red-head had joined him outside, rubbing at his arms when the chilly evening air made itself known on his skin, Roxas had already taken at least three photos of him.

Axel pulled a face as he tucked his car keys into the pocket of his black, fitted jeans. Roxas' eyes temporarily became distracted from their job of taking in the scene of the concert as they, without his consent, travelled down to watch Axel's hand as it went into the pocket of his jeans.

Why did he wear such tight pants?

Not that he was complaining...wait.

He was.

Axel shouldn't wear such pants; he was just asking to be groped!

By other people, of course.

Roxas didn't want to grope Axel.

Right?

Damn it.

"Roxas? Are you happy to stand there all night because I actually wanna go in..."

Roxas looked up and realised that he had been staring in the general direction of his friend's crotch for the past few minutes.

Awkward.

"Er... Sorry. Right, we'll go in." He turned to look at the gates that would lead them into the venue that would host probably the most epic two days of their lives. He frowned when he remembered that they were meant to be meeting their friends before they went in.

"Aren't we meant to wait for Larxene and Demyx, though?"

"Oh yeah... I'll just text them to let them know where we are." Roxas watched Axel type out the message, and once that was done Roxas spoke again.

"Well, come on. While we wait for them, let's take a picture!" he laughed when he heard the groan that Axel emitted.

"Roxie... you know that I hate taking pictures!" he whined, covering his face with his hands when he heard the camera switching on.

"Oh, come on. Humour me here." Roxas said as he walked over to Axel. He slung his arm over his best friend's shoulders and grinned into the camera, "Ready?"

He heard Axel sigh and before Roxas could process what was happening he felt an arm snake around his waist before a hand settled comfortable on his hip. He dropped his grin and focused all his energy into not shivering at the sensation.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

This was starting to get a little out of hand now, it wasn't fair that his body seemed to magnify every touch that Axel inflicted on him by, like, a thousand so that a simple, friendly touch on his anatomy made him feel like he should just jump the red-head right there and then. Pulling himself together, however, he managed to once again plaster that grin onto his face and push the right button on his digital camera to take the picture.

"Aww, look at how cute they are together. If you two were fictional characters, I would so ship you."

Roxas almost dropped his camera when he heard Larxene's voice right next to them. Demyx's laugh joined them soon after when the blonde boy stepped up next to Larxene. Axel turned slightly so that he was facing the blonde duo, but his arm remained around Roxas' waist, meaning that Roxas had to shuffle awkwardly so that he faced them too.

Axel raised a red eyebrow at the female currently in front of him, "That's kinda disturbing Larxene."

Roxas squirmed out of the red-head's grip and scowled at Larxene, "Kinda? Man, that comment passed the border of 'kinda' and went straight into 'disturbing as fuck'."

"Aww, Roxie, are you saying that you wouldn't wanna be in a pairing with me?" Axel teased, laughing at the scowl that Roxas sent his way and trying not to notice the way that his breath hitched when he realised that his friend was blushing.

No one should be allowed to look that good when they blushed.

And Roxas made it look so adorable.

His slightly tanned cheeks were currently tainted with a faint dusting of pink across his cheekbones but the cutest thing had to be fact that the tips of his ears immediately turned red as soon as he was faced with an embarrassing situation. It had been a game to Axel once upon a time, deliberately doing things to make his friend splutter and blush, but the game had quickly come to a stop when Axel realised that the flirtatious comments and innuendos where starting to affect him as well.

He didn't really delve too deeply into the fact, as far as he was concerned it was just his over-active teenage hormones at the time.

Because, honestly, what else could it be?

"I'm gonna choose to ignore this conversation in favour of going inside those gates." Roxas stretched out his arm and pointed his index finger in the direction of the venue's gates, "You assholes are keeping me away from the awesomeness that is Organization 13."

"Roxy has a point! Let's goooo guys, like now." Demyx whined, grabbing hold of Roxas and Axel's belt loops and dragging them towards the gates.

**XxXx**

"Have I told you how much I love you for this? Because I fucking do."

Axel laughed and looked over at Roxas who was currently looking up at the stage in wide-eyed awe and trying to soak up the atmosphere as much as he could. They were standing amongst hundreds of people of varying ages, but everyone looked just as excited as the person next to them. There was just something about being in a huge crowd of people that loved the same kind of music that made excitement bubble up inside of you until you felt like you were gonna burst when you finally saw the band take their place on stage.

Or maybe Axel just felt that way after spending so much time with Roxas.

Demyx and Larxene had decided to go and find where all the alcohol was at, as they didn't really like the first opening band that was going to start playing soon. Axel and Roxas however, were planning to watch and scream along to every band, whether they knew the words to the song or not.

"Let's just stand there until our ears bleed, okay?" Roxas had said before they left home for the concert, and Axel had agreed wholeheartedly.

While the band was still setting up their instruments, a girl who looked like the lead singer of the band walked up to the microphone that was situated near the front of the stage.

"Hey, Axel. You're tall and intimidating, let's put that height to good use and make our way closer to the front?"

Axel rolled his eyes, but grabbed his best friend's hand and proceeded to shove and push his way closer to the stage, ignoring all the glares and shouts of protest that they encountered. Roxas, however, tried really hard to not notice all the glares and raised eyebrows that people directed at them when they noticed their entwined hands. He felt his blush quickly make its way down his cheeks and start to taint his neck... but he left his hand in Axel's firm grip, perversely enjoying the fact that these random strangers probably thought that Axel and him were a couple. They came to a stop in a spot almost right in front of the stage, but a few rows of people kept them from being right up near the stage.

"Well. This is about as far as I can take you. See those people there?" Axel cocked his head in the direction of the rows of people that were practically pressed up against the fence that was put there to keep people from jumping onto the stage.

Roxas nodded but in reality, he was paying more attention to a girl with short, black hair that was currently looking at his red-headed friend with more interest than Roxas was comfortable with. Her sepia-tinted eyes raked over Axel's lean frame hungrily and it was all Roxas could do to not growl at her like a dog guarding his territory.

"Well, I'd probably get maimed or killed if I even _attempted _to take their places." Axel finished, looking over at the group of people that he was talking about with something akin to fear present in his venom-green eyes.

Roxas laughed, louder than necessary, and threw his arm over his best friend's shoulders, pulling the red-head closer to himself much to the confusion of said red-head. The blonde sent a grin in the direction of the girl and, after making sure that Axel was preoccupied with looking up at the stage, he mouthed one simple word at the girl before turning back to face the stage.

'_Mine._'

**XxXx**

"Hi there."

Suddenly the crowd grew quiet as the girl spoke into the microphone. She had blonde hair that was teased out and styled to look like something out of the 1950's and a wide black ribbon was tied into her hair so that the bow from it sat at the top of her head perfectly. Her simple-styled blue dress ended just above her knees, and the rounded, white collar made her look younger than she probably was.

But the look, right from the strange apron like attachment to her dress and the white stockings that adorned her legs, to the plain black, high heeled Mary Janes that completed the outfit, somehow suited her, and the array of cat calls and wolf whistles that escaped from the crowd when she smiled down at them proved it.

"We're Alice and the Wonderlands, and our first song is called 'Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'"

She smiled down at the crowd again, "Enjoy."

The lead singer began to sing almost as soon as the first note was played and Roxas and Axel looked at each other in wide-eyed amazement when the clear, silken voice reached their ears. Roxas nodded dumbly when Axel leaned in close to whisper a quick 'wow, they're good' in his ear.

He closed his eyes and let the lyrics of the song wash over him as the crowd sang along eagerly.

'_We're drowning in the velvet darkness,_

_Don't close your eyes._

_Believe in tonight (Believe)_

_We've got bruises on our hands and knees_

_And cuts on our faces._

_Run away,_

_Run away from me. _

_(Believe in tonight, believe)_

_You may be scarred, _

_But that's what makes you so beautiful._

_In an ideal world, you'd walk right past me._

_(Believe in tonight, believe)'_

The song ended to a loud applause and deafening screams as the crowd relished in the feeling of being in the presence of the band. The song was hypnotising, and Roxas had been sucked into it from the beginning right until the lead singer breathed out the last line. He almost didn't realise that Axel was still next to him until he felt the red-head lean down for the second time that day and whisper in his ear.

"Why the fuck have we not heard of these guys?"

And maybe it was the adrenalin that was rushing through his veins, or the complete high that he felt because of the amazing music that they were witnessing first hand, but Roxas swore that Axel's mouth was closer to his ear than it needed to be. He felt a shiver run through his body when he felt his friend's warm breath tickle his skin. And, to justify the action to his brain, Roxas would later claim that him leaning in closer than he needed to, allowing his breath to warm Axel's cheek as he whispered back a hurried 'they're a well kept secret, I guess.' was solely for the purpose of making sure that Axel could hear him clearly as the intro of 'We're all Mad here' began to play.

No other reason, of course.

**XxXx**

By the time that the band members of Organization 13 took the stage, the sky had lost all traces of sunlight and turned a dark, and star-filled indigo.

Demyx and Larxene had joined them by the time that the second opening band, 'Mushu saves the Dynasty', had taken the stage.

Roxas shivered in anticipation when the lead singer of Organization 13, Marluxia, walked up to the mic. He, like the other three members of the band, wore the long, floor length, black cloak that had become the band's trademark over the years.

The stage lights reflected off his pale pink hair, and highlighted the silver glitter that was dusted across his feminine cheekbones. The crowd was going insane by this point, and Roxas joined them in screaming when the pink haired singer took hold of the microphone. His breath puffed out in a white cloud when he spoke and Roxas wondered briefly if it really was cold, because he felt nothing at the moment except raw excitement.

"Did you guys notice the glitter?" Marluxia asked, touching a gloved hand to his face, "It was a dare really, but I think that I might make it a permanent part of my costume from now on." He grinned now, winking at a screaming fangirl in front of him, "Edward Cullen has got nothing on me."

By now almost all of the girls in the crowd were screaming at Marluxia to take his clothes off. Roxas turned to face Larxene with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on his lips.

"I didn't know that you were a Marluxia fangirl, Larxene."

Larxene, however, didn't lash out like Roxas expected her to and instead replied quite seriously.

"That man is sex on legs, how can I not be a fangirl?"

Demyx, who was standing at her right, nodded eagerly before adding a comment into the conversation.

"He seriously is. I mean... no one should look that good with pink hair. However," he added with a grin, "I think that I prefer blue-silvery haired musicians." Roxas laughed.

Roxas had always been a die-hard Organization 13 fan. Right from the time that the band made it out of their garage and signed to their first label. And of course he had introduced Axel to the band, claiming that 'there is no way that this friendship will work if you don't like them.'

Despite the threat, Axel really did enjoy the music, and soon the two of them were collecting all of the band's music that they could get their hands on.

Demyx, however, had only become interested in the band when he had seen a poster of its members in Axel's room one day. Roxas was sure that the fascination that Demyx had with the band's lead guitarist, Zexion, was already bordering on obsession.

"We want to thank all of you for coming out today, really, seeing all of your faces here means so much to us. So let us not keep you waiting any longer."

And with that the first song started and even though the Zexion had to have been playing for only about two seconds, the crowd cheered as they recognized the song.

"This first song is called 'Looking for a hobby'" Marluxia breathed into the microphone before the tune of the song changed dramatically, signalling his entry into the song. Suddenly, the air was filled with his voice as he started singing the opening to the song.

'_I could be everything that you need _

_Let me heal these wounds with my velvet touch _

_Let me consume your fear,_'

Soon, the voices of hundreds of fans joined him as they song along to every word of the song, their voices mingling with the lead singer's.

Roxas was grinning so wide that he was sure that he was bruising his cheeks, but he couldn't help it. Turning his head to look over at Axel, the blonde smiled warmly, trying to convey all the appreciation that he had to the red-head for allowing him the chance to see this concert.

He honestly could not think of a better way to spend the night.

He was watching his favourite band live, and he had his best friend at his side.

'_I'll swallow your tears, one by one _

_I'll be the one to get my hands dirty _

_You need a lover and I need a hobby_

_(You need a lover and I need a hobby)' _

**XxXx**

"Twilight town!" Marluxia shouted into the microphone and the crowd screamed back at him at the mention of their home, "Thank you so much for coming out to see us tonight, and thank you for being such amazing fans that you guys actually stayed even though it's fucking raining on you right now!" The singer pushed his damp hair away from his face, safe from the rain on the stage.

The ending of their last song was still playing as Marluxia began to introduce the band members to the crowd, merely as a tradition, because it was almost obvious that the people standing there probably knew everything about the band that was possible to know.

"Right, let's hear you scream for these guys! Scream your hearts out for the talented, and undeniably sexy," Marluxia added that last part in with a grin, "lead guitarist, Zexion!"

Roxas almost went deaf when Demyx screamed his throat raw for the guitarist that was currently rolling his eyes at Marluxia's comment.

"Give it up for Xaldin who fucking killed it on bass tonight!" Xaldin grinned at the crowd, and a majority of the fangirls screamed eagerly for his attention.

Roxas frowned and scrutinized the bass guitarist's appearance but, no matter how much he looked at his dark dreadlocks, and the strange side burns that the band member was known for, he couldn't see what the attraction could possibly be. Maybe it was the fact that Xaldin was pretty muscular and just tough and burly looking in general. Roxas preferred guys who were lean, toned but not overly built.

Muscle was so over rated.

Wait...did he just say that he preferred..._guys?_

Marluxia, however, carried on with his job blissfully unaware of the sexual realization that one of his fans was going through.

"And last, please, let's hear you scream for the fine piece of British ass that is Luxord on drums."

The crowd went insane, most of them had given up with screaming actual words and were now just mindlessly making noise. Roxas was sure that his ears were close to the bleeding stage by now and he had lost all feeling in his feet and fingers almost two hours ago. The rain that was beating down on them soaked his hoodie and he grinned to himself when he noticed that Axel's usual gravity-defying hair was now plastered to his face and neck, the droplets of water running down his face and clinging to his eyelashes.

Roxas was sure that he probably looked like a drowned rat himself, and he cringed when he realised that his sneakers were pooled full with water. The fans that surrounded him looked no better, many of them now had makeup that had long since left their eyes and was now half way down their cheeks. But no one complained, in fact, almost everyone was smiling while they screamed their hearts out for the band members.

It was amazing.

**XxXx**

By the time that the foursome made their way over to the parking lot, tired and completely pumped up on adrenalin, Roxas and Axel had their arms piled high with all the merchandise that they could afford and salvage from the mob of greedy fans that had gathered around the merchandise table like hungry, music-crazed vultures.

"Axel, hurry uuuuup! The posters are gonna get wet!" Roxas screamed frantically, leaning against the car door and trying to protect said posters with his soaked hoodie.

"Okay, okay. Geez, give me a second. My hands are pretty full too, yah know." Axel managed to retrieve his car keys from his pocket by, very skilfully, leaning against his car door and balancing all of his purchases on one arm.

He quickly climbed in once unlocking his door, and while waiting for his blonde counterpart to make himself comfortable in the passenger seat, he threw his stuff onto the back seat of the car wincing slightly when he wiped his damp hair away from his eyes. He hated being wet.

Hell, he hated water in general.

"Can you hear anything right now?" Roxas laughed, taking off his drenched hoodie and turning up the heat in the car so that they wouldn't both catch hypothermia and die. Not when there was still the second day of the concert to live for, "Because all I'm getting is this weird buzzing sound."

Axel laughed as well as he started his car, enjoying the heat that was starting to fill it up. "Ditto."

The ride was silent, a comfortable silence surrounding them as they neared Roxas's neighbourhood.

And then Roxas sneezed.

"Whoa, bro...You aren't getting sick, are you?" Axel asked, frowning at the blonde that was seated next to him.

"What? No way! I never get sick."

**XxXx**

"I can't believe that I'm sick."

At least... that's what Axel thought that Roxas said. It was kinda hard to understand him when his nose was all stuffed up and his voice all croaky. The blonde's cheeks were pink from the fever that plagued his body and he was shivering underneath all the blankets that Axel had piled on him when he had arrived in the morning.

"Well, you are. And before you argue with me, there is NO way in hell that you are going to that concert today." Axel stated, his hands placed on his hips.

"You look like my mom when you stand like that."

"Whatever. Your mom is an hour's drive from us and I don't think that she'd appreciate me going to fetch her just so that she can nurse you back to health. So you'll just have to put up with me being your substitute mother." Roxas didn't say anything; he just pulled a face and rolled over in his bed, cocooning himself in his blankets.

"I'm just gonna go get you some medication and... Er soup? People are meant to drink soup when they're sick, right? Yeah... er... just don't die while I'm gone, or I'll just get blamed for it."

"True friendship." Roxas replied sarcastically, his retort ruined by the fact that he had to sneeze as soon as he was finished talking. "Axel... you are still going to the concert, right?"

Axel looked at him in confusion.

"Of course I'm not going. What's the point if you're not gonna be there?"

And as he watched his friend leave, Roxas noted, in all of his sick induced haziness, that he liked the warm feeling that overtook took him when he heard Axel say those words.

**XxXx**

The next few days consisted of Axel forcing medicine down Roxas's throat, Roxas whining that Axel was mothering him too much but secretly loving all the attention, and a shit load of movies that they watched on the blonde's laptop.

Axel had pretty much moved into his room at this point and made the couch in Roxas's room his make-shift bed, leaving the apartment only to go to classes and fetch more clothes from his place. Roxas was alone at the moment, watching episodes of 'The Big Bang Theory' and feeling slightly less like death than he did a few days ago.

His heart still clenched in dramatic agony whenever he remembered that they had missed the second half of the kick-ass concert but there was no point agonizing over what had already happened. He still couldn't understand why Axel hadn't gone without him, but no matter how hard he had tried, Roxas couldn't convince the stubborn red head to go one without him. He had frowned in confusion when Axel looked at him seriously, while they were watching Zombieland for the third time that day, and told him that he didn't need to be at the concert, as long as he had his best friend, he was content. Roxas had called him a sap but inside he was overflowing with rainbows and friendship... and all that good stuff after hearing it from Axel.

'_Let's get fucked up and die,_

_I'm speaking figuratively of course. _

_Like the last time that I committed suicide,_

_Social suicide. _

_Yeah, so-'_

Roxas flailed wildly in his nest of blankets, trying to reach his ringing cell phone that, to his luck, was just out of his reach. Stretching himself over to his bedside table, and somehow pulling a muscle in the process, he finally picked up the vibrating device and answered it with an out of breath: "Hello?"

"Am I interrupting something?"

Roxas smiled when he heard Olette's voice through the speaker of his phone. He hadn't spoken to her in ages and hearing her voice, even if it was just on the phone, made him smile warmly.

"What could you be interrupting?"

"Oh, I don't know... A naughty nurse and patient role play between you and Axel?"

Roxas dropped his phone.

"You still there?"

"Yeah... I just lost my phone in my blankets. So er... ignoring your last comment... how are you?"

"Shouldn't it be me asking you that? You're the one who's been on the brink of death for the past few days."

"Well... I'm actually feeling _way_ better. Who knew that Axel had a motherly streak under the facial tattoos and bright red hair?"

Roxas heard Olette giggle on the other end of the line.

"I think that caring streak only exists for you, Roxas."

"What?"

"Never mind. I just called to make sure that Axel has been bringing you all your course work. Although something tells me that I honestly don't have to. Seriously, you should see that kid, he like runs like a madman everyday collecting all of your notes and stuff from people in your classes and still manages to make it to his own lectures. It's adorable."

"Yeah...," Roxas smiled, remembering his own surprise when the red head had presented him with notes from all his missed classes on the first day. He read over the notes whenever he gathered the energy to sit up and actually do something productive, "I owe him majorly. Like...the soul of my first born child or something."

"Oh! Before I forget, Hayner's gonna stop by your place later to check up on you."

"Oh, okay. Tell him to bring ice-cream."

"You're sick..."

"I've been a good boy and have been taking my medication. I deserve it."

A sigh.

"Sea salt?"

"Of course."

**XxXx**

When Roxas woke up from his nap a few hours after his phone conversation with Olette, he was aware of two things.

One, he felt freaking amazing and two, there was a red head very comfortably snuggled up against him. Roxas felt his eyes widen when he realised that Axel's arm was around his waist, holding Roxas close to the red-head. He wouldn't lie and say that the position was uncomfortable, his face was nuzzled against his friend's neck and the warmth from the red head's permanently slightly-higher-than-normal body heat made him want to curl up and fall asleep again.

However, Axel's hand, which Roxas was sure had probably been on his lower back at some point, was now on his butt. In order to make the situation less awkward than it could be, Roxas slowly brought his left hand up from where it had been resting, quite comfortably, on Axel's chest, and tried to move the offending limb off of his ass without waking his best friend up.

But the universe hates him.

"Roxas...?" Axel groggily asked, rubbing his eyes (adorably) and looking at his friend with sleepy confusion.

Roxas all of his blood rush to his face when he realised that his hand was now covering Axel's.

On his butt.

"I... er... Hey. Sleep well?"

The red head smiled sleepily and stretched and, in the process of stretching, realised that his hand was groping his best friend.

Roxas didn't think that someone's hand could move that fast.

Axel, however, instead of dying of embarrassment like Roxas would have in his situation, simply grinned sheepishly before running his hand through Roxas's hair. Roxas hummed happily at the feeling, his head unconsciously leaning in closer to Axel's touch. Axel smiled when he saw Roxas close his eyes and smile happily at all the attention that Axel's fingers were giving his hair.

The blonde had this thing about his hair, all you had to do was run your hands through it and he was like a kitten, all purrs and happiness. Axel, however, was not as relaxed as his blonde friend, in fact his heart was beating so fast in his chest that he was sure that he was going to suffer a premature heart attack if it didn't quit it soon. Licking his suddenly dry lips, Axel spoke.

"Yeah... I did. How are you feeling?"

"Way better... Amazing, actually." Roxas still had his eyes closed, and, Axel wasn't really sure when it had happened, but his hand was now trailing lazily along Axel's side, twirling in random patterns over his T-Shirt. Axel wasn't even sure that the blonde really realised what he was doing but, if possible, it made his heart beat even faster.

It was strange really, but it was as if his body had decided, without his consent to start making decisions on its own. Like how it was shifting even closer to Roxas, and... Dear fuck, when had his hand moved from Roxas's hair to his face?

He watched as Roxas's eyes fluttered open, and Axel unconsciously licked his lips again. Then, with his heart on overdrive and threatening to escape his thoracic cavity via his throat, he slowly traced a path from his best friend's cheekbone, to his jaw, and eventually traced his thumb, tentatively, over slightly parted, pink lips. He should have pulled away at that point, should have gotten up and blamed it on sleep deprivation or something but... he couldn't. Not when Roxas was looking at him like that, not when Roxas was also leaning closer to him resulting in their breath mingling in front of them, not when he realised that he really, _really _wanted to do this.

It seemed like eternity until that gap between their lips was closed and all that Axel could think was that Roxas's lips were really soft, and that they somehow, kind of fit _perfectly_ against his own. The kiss was sweet, gentle and just story-book perfect.

And then Roxas timidly ran his tongue along the seam of Axel's lips, and whatever hesitancy that they both felt flew out of the metaphorical window as the once sweet kiss became all lips, teeth and tongue. Roxas tangled his hands in Axel's silky hair in a desperate attempt to somehow pull his best friend closer, and Axel didn't even try to mask the moan that escaped him and instead focused on _touching _Roxas. His hands ran over the blonde's back, pulling the hem of his T-Shirt up a few centimetres, and it was Roxas's time to moan when Axel's hands found their way under his shirt and glided over his flushed skin.

"Er... Guys...?"

So of course that's when Hayner walked into Roxas's bedroom, armed with sea salt ice cream and the confusion that followed after seeing your two supposedly straight friends making out.

"I... er... just.. .and ...WHAT THE FUCK, GUYS?"

* * *

**So i promised a longer chapter...and here it is. A longer chapter.  
****Ahaha, can any one say cliffhanger? **

**The lyrics used for Roxas's ringtone are from a Motion City Soundtrack song called L.g faud. Awesome band, and freaking amazing song. **

**The lyrics used for the various (made up) bands in this chapter are from my talented and amazing friend, CarolynCorpse, because if i had to have come up with the lyrics myself, they would have sounded like a really bad boy band classic. You know, something with a lot of rhymes and 'yeah's.  
**

**Thank you time! **

**HUUUUUGE thank you to fallenofthedark, sakurasapprentice, 7ReliveTheGreat, and Moka nee-chan for reviewing the last chapter. **

**YOU PEOPLE ARE FREAKING AWESOME.**

**Yup, so awesome that i had to type in capital letters. **

**Thank you to everyone who has favourited, alerted or just read this story. **

**Oh, and another HUGE thank you to my amazingly fantastic beta, Daniel Jasper. I promise to never ever attempt to try to put something up without having it edited by you. Really. Chapter 4 had so many mistakes...**

**Oh, by the way...who can pick up the Mulan reference in the chapter? It's not very well hidden...but i thought that it was cute. Well, imaginary iPads are awarded to all of those that do notice it. **

******Wow. This end note is longer than it should be...**


	6. Anger (Part A)

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, or the lyrics, or anything else in here that is copyrighted. **

**a/n: Okay, so I hate putting these in the beginning before the chapter but I need to explain this before you guys get angry. This chapter is going to be split up into two parts, so this is chapter 6A and chapter 6B will follow sometime this week. I had to do this because it has been such a long time since I uploaded that I'm afraid that I'll lose drive to complete this story if I don't post something up. Also, this chapter drained me emotionally to write and I wanted to just get it out of the way. Writer's block is mean. **

**This is dedicated to sakurasapprentice7 for reviewing every chapter in this fic so far. You're amazing, and thank you.**

* * *

6. As much as you wish you could, you can never stay mad at them.

* * *

"**And maybe it's all for the best, **

**But I just can't see any good in this." **

**-Every Avenue_Between You and I**

* * *

Roxas had always been a fantastic liar.

In fact, he had managed to lie himself out of every P.E lesson in high school without getting caught.

But, as Hayner stood there, with a box of sea-salt ice-cream popsicles in his hands, Roxas's mind went completely and utterly blank.

There was no lie just creeping into his subconscious, waiting for him to use it and get himself out of the situation that he was currently placed in.

Instead, all that his mind could come up with was "Hey, look...Sea-salt ice-cream."

The silence stretched on awkwardly.

"Well, since you two seem to be as confused as I am about this... I'm going to go put this in the freezer. Then we can talk about what just happened. Like a therapy session. Or like parents telling their child that Santa Claus isn't real. With, you know, me being the kid, you guys being the parents, and Santa being your heterosexuality."

Roxas sighed, sitting up in his bed and dragging his hand down his face as he tried to organize the thoughts that were currently flying around his head at the speed of confusion. There was a lot that he could say in this situation, ranging from 'this really isn't what it looks like' to 'Hayner, don't you ever knock before barging into someone's house' but he just settled on: "Hayner, you're babbling."

To which Hayner replied with a slightly exasperated look.

"Right...so, I'll go put this in the freezer."

Hayner looked at them before he walked out of the room, the sound of those stupid camouflage sneakers that he always wore hitting the ground was only the sound that penetrated through the silence in the room.

The silence continued.

It was surprising to Roxas that the only coherent thought that his brain could clearly form right now was the memory of how amazingly soft Axel's lips were. And weirdly enough, the thought of kissing Axel didn't freak him out as much as it should. Maybe it was because he was finally accepting what his subconscious had been trying to tell him for ages- _he liked his best friend_.

As in...feelings that went beyond platonic. And after that kiss, that Axel had basically initiated, the feeling had to be mutual, right?

"So, do you want ice-cream? It's Hayner's treat to me for getting over my cold." Roxas said, not look up from his hands that were clasped in his lap. He looked up, startled, when he heard sudden movement next to him. A quick glance into the direction of where Axel had been only a few minutes ago showed that the red head was now quickly gathering up his belongings and trying to put his sneakers on without taking a seat on the bed.

"Axel?"

Roxas saw the involuntary wince that passed through Axel's face when his voice rang out uncertainly through the room. But Axel didn't look up, instead his eyebrows furrowed as he feigned concentration and interest in the black and red sneakers that he was trying to stuff his socked feet into.

"I'm sorry... I really need to leave. Now."

Roxas kept his eyes trained on his best friend's face, even though the red-head continued to stare at his shoes instead of looking up. But, in the brief moment that Axel glanced up Roxas felt his heart drop at the expression that was so clear on Axel's face.

Fear.

"Ax..."

"No, Roxas... this should never have happened. This..." Axel clenched his eyes shut, running his hands through his silky, red hair. Roxas's fingers twitched as he remembered the feel of the strands of Axel's hair on his fingertips only minutes ago. How could everything have gone so wrong in such a short amount of time?

Hell, it hadn't even been ten minutes since Hayner had walked in, "this was a mistake."

"Mistake? A fucking mistake, Axel? That's what you're calling it? Funny, it didn't feel like a mistake to me."

Axel still didn't make eye contact, his venom-green eyes were attached to the carpeted floor, and Roxas felt his fists clench in anger and frustration when Axel grabbed his car keys off the bedside table and proceeded to walk out the door after whispering a cowardly: "Sorry."

Roxas bolted from the bed and grabbed Axel's hand before the red-head could make his way out into the lounge area.

"Damnit, Axel, let's talk about this okay? You can't just act like it didn't happen!"

Axel looked down at Roxas's hand that was tightly clenched around his wrist, the digits bunching up the material of the green hoodie that he had hurriedly thrown on in Roxas's room. Roxas's hand on his anatomy sent an unwanted shiver down his spine, followed by an immediate sense of nausea as the kiss was replayed in his mind. Finally, his eyes came into contact with his friend's for the first time since Hayner had walked in on them.

He shook his head slowly, scrunching his eyes shut after taking in Roxas's face that was set in grim determination. A little part of him inwardly chuckled at his best friend's facial expression- it was always in Roxas's nature to try and fix things, to tackle an issue straightaway before it ate away at him. That stubbornness and confrontational attitude was one of the many things that Axel lov-

No.

Thinking like that was what had gotten him into this mess in the first place.

He shook his head slowly, tugging slightly at his arm so that Roxas would let go but the blonde's grip was insistent.

"You don't get it Roxas...it shouldn't have happened. I... I don't want this."

Roxas let his grip slacken and watched Axel leave, his surprise leaving him stunned into silence. The door closing behind Axel with a slight click seemed to make the moment all the more final.

"Roxas?" Roxas turned, his eyes still widened and perplexed, to look at the source of the voice that had called out his name.

Hayner.

He had forgotten that his friend was even in the apartment with them. Roxas realised, with a slight grimace, that Hayner had probably heard the whole exchange that had taken place after they had left the confines of the bedroom.

"Hey, Rox... you okay?"

Roxas shook his head as the reality of the situation finally dawned on him, the realization that that one, solitary, fucking minute long kiss had screwed everything up.

Axel had walked out.

Axel didn't like him, not in that way.

Axel... called it a mistake.

With a gasp to his suddenly aching lungs, Roxas let his legs give out under him and he sank to his knees, his fists clenched so hard that he felt his nails leaving indentations on the skin of his palm.

"I-I... fucked up, Hayner."

**XxXx**

They were seated in Roxas's lounge, Hayner and Roxas, with Roxas picking at the threads that were coming loose on the worn-in but comfortable couch that Axel had picked up at a random garage sale last year. Roxas's lips curved into a gentle smile when he remembered the argument they had had over the stupid couch. He had initially refused to buy the couch on the basis that people had probably had sex on it previously but Axel had insisted that it was perfect.

And cheap.

With the fact that Roxas was a broke college student, you couldn't forget cheap.

Roxas couldn't help it, as much as he tried to smother the pain that flamed in his chest whenever he thought of the red-head by trying to replace it with anger instead, he just kept thinking about the fact that Axel was his best friend- _his other half_. The thought of Axel hating him was eating him up inside, twisting up all that frustration he had and replacing it with a feeling of desperation.

The sick thing was that, even though everything about that kiss had felt right to Roxas, he would act like it never happened if it meant getting his best friend back. He would act as though that kiss meant nothing to him; he would ignore the feelings that welled up inside of him whenever he thought of kissing Axel again, he would lie to everyone and act as though the feelings in their friendship didn't go past platonic.

He would lie to himself for Axel.

Hayner sat on the other couch that was situated in the room. If it had been anyone else in his situation, they may have felt a little awkwardness or at least a little uncomfortable, but not Hayner. He was lounged comfortably on the couch, a sea-salt popsicle in his mouth and curiosity evident on his features as he took in the sight of his friend looking uncomfortable and lost in his own home.

"So, where's Sora?" he asked, pulling the popsicle out of his mouth in order to speak.

"He... uh. I think he's at his parent's or something for the weekend. And I'm pretty sure he stayed at Kairi's for most of the week while Axel was here. Something about not wanting to get my 'flu' germs."

Hayner snorted, "That sounds like your roommate."

There was silence as Roxas stared at his hands, not really looking forward to the conversation that he knew Hayner was building up to. But even before Hayner removed the blue popsicle from his mouth in order to speak once again, Roxas knew that his friend's tact only went so far. The conversation that he was dreading was inevitable.

"So. You and Axel kissed... what's up with that?"

Roxas groaned, burying his head into the arm rest of the couch. After a moment he looked up, his eyes narrowed and glaring at his friend.

"Fine, I'll pour out my emotions to you, but, and listen carefully Hayner, you cannot tell ANYONE about the... kiss, okay?"

Hayner shrugged, looking bored but attentive enough that Roxas could see that he actually cared about what he was going through.

"Yeah, sure, I won't tell anyone. Now, spill."

**XxXx**

"Hey, Roxas. Oh good, you're alone. I need to speak to you about Axel."

Roxas looked up when Olette seated herself next to him on the couch in Hayner's parent's basement. Hayner still lived in his parent's house, he claimed that it was because they provided free lodging but they all knew that it was because Hayner was too lazy to live on his own. And since the basement had been made into a mini-apartment for Hayner, the gang all tended to hang out there whenever they had a rare free day between them all. The gang of course comprising of Hayner, Olette, Roxas and Pence.

"About Axel?" Roxas asked, cold fear starting to climb up his internal organs as he looked around, trying to catch Hayner's gaze. It proved ineffective though as Hayner and Pence were glued to the television that Pence's old school game system was connected to.

That was the whole point of the evening, to waste time playing video games and not thinking about anything. But as much as Roxas tried, he couldn't shake the feeling of having a metaphorical grey cloud raining on his attempt at fun. Everything seemed to remind him of Axel recently.

"Yes. You really think that we wouldn't notice the fact that you guys aren't talking?" Olette asked, one of her eyebrows raised as she scolded Roxas for his naivety, "You two were basically attached at the hip and then you two just started avoiding each other. Seriously, people I don't even know have been asking me what happened between you and Axel. People _I don't even know_, Roxas."

Roxas groaned, reaching out to the old wooden crate that Hayner had creatively turned into a coffee table. Hayner had even painted the words 'coffee table' on it for anyone who was confused. He grabbed a slice of rapidly cooling pizza out of the box that was situated on the crate-turned-coffee table and took a quick bite before muttering out a response to Olette's prying.

"I don't want to talk about it. I messed up; he doesn't want to talk to me. So let's forget it." he ended his statement by taking a huge bite out of his slice of pizza and trying to grimace at the feeling of cold cheese in his mouth.

"I know that you two kissed."

Roxas almost started choking when he heard Olette. The fact was delivered in such a matter-of-fact and calm voice that for a second Roxas was sure that he had heard her incorrectly, but the guilty look on Hayner's face, when he finally turned away from staring at the television screen, proved that there was nothing at fault with his hearing.

"Oh, don't you glare at Hayner. He did nothing wrong." Olette scolded, rolling her eyes at the expression that Roxas was wearing on his face.

"Nothing wrong?! I told him not to tell anyone!"

Hayner huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and fixing Roxas with a pointed look.

"Well, I'm sorry if I got tired of watching you mope around for two freaking weeks. You almost took up smoking because of this bullshit between you and Axel!"

Roxas flinched as he recalled his lapse in judgement. He had honestly considered taking up smoking as a habit at least three times during these past few weeks. As far as his friends were concerned, he wanted to take up smoking to help with his stress levels.

You know, stress due to school and the fact that his best friend wasn't returning his calls.

And he was content with them believing that because the truth was so much more pathetic. Roxas wanted to smoke so that he could feel closer to Axel, because even if he could just surround himself in a smell that so distinctly reminded him of his best friend... then maybe the void that was continuously making itself known in his chest due to Axel's absence would fill itself.

But he couldn't do it.

As much as smoking would make him feel like Axel was close to him... It would also remind him that Axel wanted nothing to do with him.

He sighed, placing his pizza back in the box because his appetite had suddenly deserted him. He wiped his hands on his black jeans, staring at the material as if they held the answer to everything that was happening to him right now.

"And what exactly are you gonna tell me Olette? That it was a huge mistake? Because you really don't have to, Axel already took care of that."

"Actually, I was going to tell you to man the fuck up."

Roxas blinked repeatedly, Hayner looked at Olette in horror and Pence even went as far as to gasp in shock.

Olette never, ever swore.

"Shit just got real." Pence said.

"Really dude? You don't say anything up until now and that's all you have to add to this intervention?" Hayner snorted, a grin forming on his lips as he got over his temporary stunned state to turn back to his game.

Olette's eye visibly twitched in annoyance but Roxas watched her take a deep breath, and when she spoke again that caring, motherly tone that Roxas, and everyone else was so accustomed to, was once again present in her voice. "Roxas, you need to go find Axel and speak to him."

"About what, Olette? If he wanted to speak to me, he would have answered the hundreds of texts and voicemails I left him."

"I want you to talk to him, face-to-face and not over the phone, about the fact that you like him and want to take your friendship past the borderlines of, well... friendship." She retorted, confidence in her words clearly evident in her voice.

"And what makes you think that I want our friendship to be anything but a friendship?" he snapped, annoyed at the knowing tone that she had adopted. However, his anger fell away when he saw the affection in her eyes. But instead of Olette's voice, he heard Hayner pipe into the conversation.

"You know... for the longest time in high school, we were so sure that you and Axel were dating and you just didn't want to tell us. I mean you were always kinda weird when it came to telling us stuff, and we couldn't really think of another explanation as to why Axel would want to hang out with someone two years younger than him." He said, and for once Hayner's voice didn't hold its normal mocking tone, but instead Hayner sounded... serious.

"Yeah," Pence finally added in, a soft smile gracing his features as he tilted his head to the side to look at Roxas, "and you two were practically attached at the hip. And, Roxas? I don't know if you ever realised, but you were a pretty intense kid up until you met that crazy red-head. But when you were with Axel you smiled. And not the strained smile that you used to give us to make us think that you were alright so that we would leave you alone either. You really smiled when you were him. He changed you, Roxas. You loosened up when you became closer to Axel."

Roxas felt tears starting to prick at his eyes and, so that his friends wouldn't see his watery gaze, he kept his eyes glued to his lap. He inhaled shakily and responded with a whisper.

"What am I meant to do?"

He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and when he looked up, he was met with Olette's eyes, fierce certainty shining in them.

"Tell him how you feel Roxas. We've all seen the way that guy looks at you. He freaked out because he was scared, and you need to tell him that you wanted that kiss to happen just as much as he did."

* * *

**...**

**Oh gosh, please don't kill me guys? Both for the super long delay in update and for making Axel into a confused jerk. i'm sorry, really.  
Like i said earlier, this chapter was extremely emotionally draining for me to write. i feel so sorry for my editor, i swear i must have complained to Daniel at least like, a hundred times while writing this these past few days. I'd send her something and she would reply and tell me there was nothing wrong with it, and i would be like: "FML, I don't wanna write this chapter, i can't write this anymore!" Er yeah. i'm pathetic when i have writer's block.  
**

**Hey, by the way, i survived my exams! i have one more set of exams left in October and then...high school is over for me. Man, that's scary. **

**Thank you time!**

**HUUUUUGE thank you to: Uqluiorra12345, fallenofthedark, kotoko-kurosaki, The Fuzzy Ficus, ReliveTheGreat, sakurasapprentice7, memwwms, mudkipluvr4ever, and Moka nee-chan.**

**Seriously, thank you. i don't think that you understand how much i appreciate every single one of your reviews.**

**And, thank you to everyone who has favourited, alerted, or even just read this fanfiction.**

**The second part of this chapter should be up soon. **

**On a completely unrelated note...it's my birthday on Friday! i'm turning 18. which isn't that exciting really. it just means that i can buy and drink alcohol (legally). Meh. **


	7. Anger (Part B)

**Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. **

**Technically, it's still Sunday...so i'm not a liar. i did get this posted in the week like a promised :D**

* * *

6. B As much as you wish you could, you can never stay mad at them.

* * *

"**I guess**

**That I could live without you.**

**But without you I'll be miserable,**

**At best."**

**-Mayday Parade_Miserable at Best**

* * *

Roxas knew that Demyx worked a few nights during the week at a small cafe that was situated a little way off from their university's campus. Axel and him and actually been there a few times to eat when going to their favourite diner just seemed like too much of a chore.

As Roxas approached Demyx's place of worked he groaned at his carelessness, with a quick glance at his watch he confirmed that it was actually lunch time and the queues of people that he could see through the glass walls of the cafe were actually there to purchase something to eat. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his trench coat and took a sniff of the inner lining of the coat guiltily. Axel was the last person who had worn his coat and he realised that the red-head's scent lingered gently on the material. But instead of throwing the coat into the pile of clothes that needed to be washed like a normal person who was trying to get over their fondness for their best friend (or ex-best friend, seeing as Axel still wasn't talking to him) Roxas had thrown the coat on and left his apartment.

The crowd of hungry people inside the cafe was daunting and Roxas was tempted to leave and go home to drown his insecurities in a bag of chips, but he willed himself to walk into establishment, the warmth inside hitting him like a welcomed blanket after all the cold of the unforgiving temperature outside. Seriously? When was the idiotic winter going to release Twilight Town from its evil and forgiving grasp? Winter just didn't sit well with the inhabitants of the town, who were so accustomed to the heat and pleasant sunshine that Twilight was known for.

Roxas inhaled deeply when a few of the people in the cafe turned to look at him with curiosity that soon faded when they realised that he was just another hungry customer. However, Roxas paid them no attention, instead the conversation that he had had with his friends the night before was still running in frantic circles in his head as he tried to keep himself from chickening out from what he was going to do.

He was going to man the fuck up, to quote Olette, and speak to Axel.

But first, he had to find Axel.

He searched the cafe as discreetly as possible for the crazily styled blonde hair that was attached to the person whom he had come to speak to, and upon finding him, Roxas concluded that the best thing to do was to just hang around the back of the cafe until the crowd thinned out a little. Then, he could speak to Demyx and not hold up the line and he could avoid getting killed by angry people who wanted their coffee fix for the day.

Roxas sighed, stuffing his hand back into the pocket and withdrawing his phone from the confines of the black material, once he had found an inconspicuous place to wait. If he had to wait for Demyx to be available, then he may as well beat his high score on Angry Birds.

**XxXx**

"Roxas!" Demyx beamed, "I was wondering when you were gonna come say hi, I saw you looking all suspicious-like in the back."

Roxas laughed, his hand reaching out to scratch at the back of his neck sheepishly, "Guess I wasn't being as ninja-like as I had hoped then."

Demyx laughed as he brought a cloth out from behind the counter and began to wipe down the surface in front of Roxas, the action distracting Roxas as he watched all of the grime that had accumulated from the lunch time rush disappearing under the fabric of that rag. "Nope, unfortunately being a ninja is not in the list of future job opportunities for you, little man."

Roxas pretended to be upset, bringing a hand down on the now clean surface in mock frustration, "Damn. And I already had my black outfit in my closet and everything."

Demyx graced him with another laugh, but Roxas could see that the older man wanted to know what he wanted. After all, it wasn't that Demyx and Roxas didn't get along, Demyx got along with just about everyone after all, it was just that they were only friends because they both were friends with Axel. The only times they ever hung out was when Axel was involved in the equation. Roxas scratched the back of his neck again, cursing himself for the nervous tic that he seemed to have just acquired after walking up to the counter to speak to Demyx.

"Er, actually I didn't really come all the way to here to talk to you about future career options."

"I figured."

"I was actually going to ask you if-"

"Hold that thought, dude, my shift ended like five minutes ago and I'm about ready to leave this place, so why don't I get my stuff and we can talk?" Demyx said, interrupting Roxas with a smile.

Roxas smiled back, not really wanting to have the conversation he was planning to have with Demyx in a cafe full of people anyway. He returned Demyx's easy smile.

"Sure. I'll just wait for you here."

"Cool, I won't be long. Promise." And with that last sentence, Demyx disappeared into the wilderness that was the backroom where his things, and the belongings of the other employees, were stored during his shifts.

Roxas leaned against the counter, trying to relax himself. A quick glance to his watch told him that even if Demyx took his time, he would still have more than enough time to find Axel, wherever he was, and talk to him before it got too late. He had been planning out what he was going to say to his red-headed best friend since last night, the dark circles under his eyes proof of the hours he had spent tossing and turning in bed the night before.

Everything that his mind conjured up just sounded too dramatic and sappy, and Roxas didn't want to be laughed at by Axel, or worse, chase Axel away once again. He winced as the reality that Axel could just crush his heart and leave him confused and alone yet again made itself known. But he promised his friends that he would tell Axel, and if Axel didn't want a... relationship, then he could at least settle for a return of their previous friendship.

Fuck, he missed his best friend. It just wasn't the same without the crazy pyro. Roxas hadn't even realised how much time the two of them had spent together until all interaction between them had ceased.

Suddenly Demyx was next to him on the other side of the cash register, the store regulation dark blue apron gone and his black, acid washed jeans and plain white t-shirt shirt visible now that there wasn't a counter in the way. Roxas took in his outfit with a raised brow.

"Please tell me that you have a jacket, Demyx. It's a freaking ice age out there."

Demyx smiled sheepishly, rubbing at his bare forearms with his hands. "Well, the sun was shining this morning, so I guess that I got prematurely summer happy and ditched the jacket idea."

Roxas rolled his eyes, and scanned the area once they had left the store, spotting a coffee house not that far from where they were standing; he grabbed onto Demyx's arm and pulled him away from the cafe.

"Well, I'm pretty sure that the last thing that you wanna do is sit and talk in the place where you work but if we aren't inside somewhere, you'll freeze. So let's go get coffee from that place, I'll pay." He said, in response to the enquiring look that Demyx shot him.

Demyx nodded and allowed himself to be dragged off by the smaller blonde.

**XxXx**

"I know that you want to talk about Axel."

Roxas and Demyx were seated in a comfortable booth, with a cup of steaming coffee warming each of their hands respectively. Roxas inhaled the delicious scent of coffee that emanated from his cup and looked up at Demyx in apology.

"Sorry if I was that transparent."

Demyx just shrugged the easy smile that he always seemed to wear visible on his face as he took a tentative sip of his coffee. He savoured the taste before answering. "It's okay. I don't mind. I'm just curious to know what you want from me."

Roxas took a deep breath, and set his coffee down on the surface of the table as he prepared himself to speak.

"I don't know if Axel has spoken to you about it... but something happened a few weeks ago, and Axel refuses to speak to me because of what happened. I need you to tell me where I can find him so that I can speak to him myself because..." Roxas took a deep breath after his speech and looked down at his hands instead of meeting Demyx' eyes, "I miss my best friend."

Demyx looked at Roxas with a frown marring his normally care-free expression.

"Axel didn't mention anything... What happened between you two?" Demyx asked just to see what reaction he would get out of Roxas; of course he knew what had happened. Axel was his best friend after all, and the red-head had been so confused and distressed on the day that he came back after staying at Roxas's place that it didn't really take much prying to get him to spill the details as to what had happened. But getting Roxas's version of the story would be interesting.

Roxas looked as if he was debating whether to tell Demyx or just lie to cover up his tracks. The older blonde watched him with a small smile playing at his lips. When Roxas finally looked up from staring at his coffee cup, he frowned at the expression on Demyx's face.

"You know, don't you?"

Demyx shrugged.

"It didn't take much to get it out of Axel. And Larxene and I were sorta expecting it anyway; the sexual tension between you guys was bound to escalate into something. Honestly, I was expecting sex, but a steamy make out session is okay too I guess."

Roxas felt his face turn a fierce shade of red and he tried really hard to keep his composure. "Well, uh, "he spluttered out, "can you tell me where he is?"

Demyx leaned back in the cushioned seat of the booth, running a finger along the lip of his coffee cup casually and bringing the finger to his lips, sucking off the foam that he had gathered, before he answered Roxas's question.

"I'll text him."

Roxas let out a breath that he didn't even know that he had been holding and smiled at Demyx's gratefully.

"Thank you."

Demyx didn't reply, he just dug his phone out from the pocket of his jeans and Roxas watched as his fingers flew across the keypad of his phone. The instantaneous reply almost mocked Roxas, considering the fact that he had texted Axel so many times in the last few weeks and received nothing in reply. Demyx looked at his screen before giving Roxas a report back.

"He says that he's at the university's cafeteria. If you go now, you might be able to catch him. But Roxas maybe you shouldn't-"

Roxas stood up, downing the last of his now cool coffee and shook his head as he gathered up his coat so he could leave. "No Demyx. I have to speak to him... Even if he doesn't return my feelings; he needs to know how I feel about him."

And then he turned and left, without giving Demyx a chance to complete his sentence. And as he walked away, he missed the sad smile that Demyx sent his way and the warning that Demyx whispered as he watched Roxas walk out of the coffee shop.

"Oh, Roxas. You're gonna get your heart broken, kid."

**XxXx**

If there was something that Roxas never really had trouble with, it was spotting Axel in a crowd. Bright red hair isn't really that hard to spot. Axel was leaning against the outside wall of the university's cafeteria, the place that students only went to when they really were too lazy to go somewhere else for lunch or their coffee fix, and his lips were wrapped around a cigarette, the ash dropping onto the floor in front of him. Roxas felt his breath stop on its path back up his pharynx, the cold air that he had inhaled only seconds before suddenly left him when he saw Axel. It was amazing, he hadn't seen his best friend in weeks, but even now, every feature on Axel's face was as familiar to Roxas as the features on his own body. Except for one small, tiny detail.

He still wanted to kiss Axel.

Watching the red head as he stood there, his lean ("I'm not skinny, Roxas, I'm just...in proportion") body looking relaxed and comfortable despite the biting cold weather that was visible as white puffs of breath whenever someone expelled carbon dioxide into the late afternoon air. The collar of his black trench coat, almost an exact replica of the one that Roxas was wearing, was pulled up so that his neck was guarded from the harsh air, and his hands were hidden beneath black gloves. Unfortunately, as much as staring at his best friend was sufficient enough for Roxas; he wasn't going to accomplish anything unless he spoke to Axel. Taking a deep breath, Roxas filled his lungs with some much needed oxygen and started to walk over to where Axel was situated. At the sound of footsteps approaching him, Axel looked up and his green eyes widened when he took in the sight of his best friend walking towards him. His best friend whom he had been trying so hard to avoid for weeks. He should have known that Roxas would have tracked him down though, Roxas was determined and Axel realised that ignoring a few phone calls and text messages was futile when the two of them attended the same university and lived in the same town. Can't blame a guy for trying though. He looked at the blonde walking towards him and tried to not notice how his cheeks were tainted a light pink due to the biting cold, and he tried extremely hard, he really did, to not notice how Roxas's lips had turned a bright red because the kid continuously forgot to use chapstick. How was he not supposed to notice though? Especially since Roxas seemed determined to draw attention to those lips by running the tip of a pink, wet tongue along his bottom lip...

"Axel."

Axel had decided, as soon as he had seen Roxas walk towards him, that he was going to be as cold and distant as he could possibly be to the blonde, but when heard the way that Roxas said his name, slightly out of breath due to the cold, and with a smile that was present even in his voice, he felt something inside of him thaw.

"Hey, there Roxas."

"You've been ignoring me, asshole." Even though the statement sounded snappish, it was delivered with a smile that Axel couldn't help but return once he had finished wincing at the truth that lay behind that statement.

"I-i guess that I just needed some time to sort my shit out." Axel replied a gloved hand going up to his hair and once again, involuntarily, Roxas felt his fingers twitch with the need to run his own hand through the red, silky hair. Roxas's gaze settled on Axel's envy green eyes, and he kept them there, all traces of his previous smile gone.

"So, have you sorted yourself out?"

Axel nodded, lazily flicking the butt of his cigarette do the ground and crushing the smouldering flame under the sole of his omnipresent combat boots.

"So, you're ready to talk about what happened?" Roxas continued, cerulean pigmented eyes searching Axel's own green eyes for any lack in sincerity. The blue eyes hardened when Axel winced and looked away, eyes glued to something behind Roxas.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Axel, are you fucking kidding me?" Roxas sighed and brought his hands to clasp at the hand that Axel had been running through his hair anxiously, his gloved fingers covering his friend's hands, "look. Axel, _look_ at me."

Axel tore his eyes away from the hands that were clasped around his and looked at Roxas, clearly uncomfortable with the situation and the close proximity of his friend.

"You wouldn't have kissed me unless you felt _something_, Axel, and I understand if you're scared...shit damn, I'm fucking scared too. But we need to talk about this, we can't just act as though it didn't happen, "he paused, a faint smile on those cold reddened lips, "I don't want to act as though it didn't happen."

Axel frowned, "you don't?"

"Nope," Roxas laughed, dropping Axel's hands and standing even closer to his best friend, "I needed time to sort my shit out too, and after a lecture from Olette...I realised that I want this to go somewhere. I want..._us_ to happen." Roxas felt his cheeks turn a deeper shade of pink, and he knew that it had nothing to do with the cold weather, "Axel, I like you. As in...More than a friend."

Axel's eyes widened and his whole body tensed up as soon as those words had left Roxas's mouth, but all that he could do in his shocked state was shake his head repeatedly, "no, no, _no_...Roxas...don't...i-i cant..."

Roxas felt his whole body deflate as he saw Axel stand there; it was as if everyone around them, all of the noise that had surrounded them only moments ago had been sucked into a vacuum, leaving Roxas with only the sound of his blood pounding in his ears. How could he be so stupid? Why did he listen to Olette? It was ludicrous to think that someone like Axel would ever want Roxas in that way. That kiss didn't mean anything, it was just a lapse in character that he should have forgotten ages ago and gotten on with his life like Axel had. He felt tears prickling at his eyes, which made him feel so much more pathetic. Couldn't the earth just grant him one small act of kindness and allow a tree to fall on him or something? It seemed, however, that the universe had other ideas for him, because instead of pulling him out of his misery, the cold, heartless bitch decided to dump another load of bad news onto him.

"Axel?" at the sound of the new voice, Axel sprung away from Roxas, his eyes widening even more as he tried to make himself look less guilty. Roxas snorted, what was there to feel guilty for? It's not like they got caught with their pants down, "sorry I took so long, the queue in there is a little crazy." And as the voice took a few more steps closer to them, Roxas finally looked at the source of the sweet, feminine voice, though it was futile. He knew before he saw the furry white boots or the white coat come into view that the voice belonged to and, like a dead weight settling in his stomach, he knew why she was there.

Naminé placed a chaste kiss on Axel's pale cheek, her platinum blonde hair brushing against the tattoos on the red-head's cheek. It was only after she placed a take-away cup of coffee into Axel's hand that she realised that Roxas was there. A smile graced her lips as a white gloved hand went to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Hi...you're Roxas, right? Axel speaks about you so much, I probably know almost as much about you as I do about Axel.", she laughed, not taking in the way that both Axel and Roxas tensed up as she told them that piece of news, Axel out of embarrassment and Roxas out of resentment, "I don't know if you remember me...I was your waitress once at the Christmas Town Diner."

Roxas smiled sweetly, his eyes straying from Naminé to look at Axel, "oh, I remember you. So..." he trailed off casually, as if he was just making polite conversation with his best friend's girlfriend, "Axel talks about me a lot, you say?" he chuckled, smiling at Axel sweetly, honey dripping off his every word, "only good things I hope?"

Naminé beamed, the conversation making her feel accepted into Axel's group of friends. Axel had yet to introduce her to any of his friends, and she was afraid to ask him why in case he saw her being too needy.

"of course!" she exclaimed, "you're, like, his favourite person ever!" she giggled once again, the gloved hand that wasn't clutching at the hot drink that she had purchased in the cafeteria coming up to cover her mouth cutely, "you want to hear something funny?"

"Always."

"when I first saw you two at the diner, I almost didn't give Axel my number because I was so, get this, certain that you two were a couple." Roxas saw Axel's jaw tense as he kept his gaze locked onto something far away from the conversation unfolding in front of him but, as detached as he tried to look, Roxas could tell that he was paying close attention.

"Really?" Roxas asked, a well forged laughed escaping his throat, "a couple?"

"Yes! I mean, i understand now that it's because you guys are such close friends, but you guys just looked so cute and couple-like together. And if it wasn't for my friend pushing me into giving Axel my number...I wouldn't have such an amazing boyfriend right now." She beamed once again, directing that perfect smile in Axel's direction.

And Roxas felt it.

Hate.

Welling up inside of him and flowing in his veins, intermingling with the crimson blood that flowed there too, clouding his vision and causing him physical pain.

Hate that caused his internal organs to twist until it felt like he might throw up onto Naminé's perfectly white and pristine boots.

But the hate wasn't all directed at the white clad girl in front of him, oh no. There was plenty of hate for Axel too.

"That's lovely. Fucking lovely." He plastered another fake smile onto his face. He was getting good at faking this appearance of 'nice Roxas', "Well, it was nice seeing you again Naminé, I'm really happy for you and Axel." His smile turned slightly sadistic, "And Axel? Call me sometime, babe."

He then walked away, that smile still stuck on his face, the effort of holding it up seemed much easier than letting it go and allowing the tears that he knew he was forcing back to spill from his eyes. He was tired of playing the love struck victim. Axel had made it pretty clear that he didn't want Roxas, and Roxas sure as hell wasn't going to chase a relationship that had no possibility of ever forming.

Regardless of how perfect that relationship would have been.

**XxXx**

**New Text message received from: Demyx**

**(08:00)**

Hey, Roxas. Er... I know that this is probably a little strange,

But I was wondering if you maybe wanted to meet up today for ice-cream?

My treat.

Meet me at the clock tower at ten?

Demyx

* * *

**New text message received from: Demyx**

**(08:12)**

Hey, there Axel

Wanna meet up with me at the clock tower

Today at about ten?

We haven't really spoken in ages and I kinda sorta miss you, asshole.

I'll bring ice-cream.

Demyx

* * *

Roxas sat on the ledge of the clock tower, overlooking the town that he had called home for so many years. He used to love coming up here with Axel, sitting on the edge like he was now, and experiencing that wondrous emotion of feeling on top of the world... like the whole world was yours for the taking.

Or maybe it was just Axel that made him feel that way.

Maybe it was just Axel that made him feel like he could take on the world, made him feel like he meant something.

Roxas sighed, kicking the heels of his sneakers against the wall of the clock tower. It was futile, even after he had walked off from Axel and Axel's new girlfriend, and even after he had kept his phone next to him for the next few days in the hopes that Axel would call him, he still couldn't move on from Axel.

He didn't want to forget about his best friend.

"When's Demyx gonna get here..." he muttered, checking his watch for the tenth time since he had come up to the clock tower twenty minutes ago.

"Demyx? Duuude, where's the ice-cream you bribed me with?"

Roxas jumped in surprise when he heard Axel's voice, and when Axel himself came into view after walking around the corner of the ledge of the clock tower. Roxas's surprise, however, was miniscule compared to Axel's. The pyro's eyes widened in shock, and he froze dead in place.

"You know, it seems as though that 'deer in the headlights' look is starting to become your trade mark. It's the expression that you're wearing whenever I see you." Roxas said, dragging his eyes away from Axel and placing them on the view of his town. He might miss his best friend, but his best friend was still an asshole.

"R-Roxas...?" Axel stuttered, still frozen in place a few feet away from where Roxas was perched.

"Yup, it's me. What are you doing up here anyway?"

"Er... Demyx lured me up here with the promise of free ice-cream." Roxas felt his body relax when he heard Axel's footsteps and then felt his presence as the he sat down on the ledge next to Roxas. He tried not to notice the unnecessary amount of space left between them and instead focus on the fact that his best friend wasn't treating him like he was carrying the plague anymore. Roxas chuckled, glancing over at Axel with a smile on his face.

"Looks like we both were conned with the promise of free ice-cream."

Axel laughed, "You too?"

Roxas nodded, before questioning their situation. "Demyx didn't say that he was inviting you as well though. And... Where is Demyx? He was meant to meet me here almost half an hour ago."

Just before Axel could open his mouth to reply to Roxas's enquiry, music cut through the air and made them both stop and stare at each other.

'_The bass, the rock_

_The mic, the treble._

_I like my coffee black _

_Just like my metal' _

Axel raised an eyebrow as Roxas retrieved his phone from his jean's pocket, taking in the familiar blush that the flustered blonde was now sporting.

"Hey, I thought that you hated that song? You wouldn't even let me play it around you!" Axel exclaimed, his eyebrows raised in surprise. He still stared at Roxas's phone as if the small device might explain itself to him sometime soon.

"It... grew on me." Roxas huffed, before answering the phone and bringing it up to his ear.

"Hello?" There was a pause as Roxas's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and he looked at Axel in the same bewildered manner as the unknown person spoke to him on the phone. Axel shot Roxas his own confused look, "Yes... he's here. Okay, I'll do that." The uncertainty didn't leave Roxas's voice and the way that he was acting was making Axel slightly nervous.

"Er... Demyx said that I have to put him on loud speaker because he wants us both to hear what he has to say." Roxas muttered, his fingers messing around on his phone so that he could activate his loudspeaker option.

Axel shrugged and moved to sit closer to Roxas so that he could hear what it was that Demyx wanted them both to hear. He chose not to question what was going on, honestly, with friends like his he had grown used to accepting these odd moments. He also chose to not question why his heart beat sped up considerably when he inched closer to Roxas, or why his palms suddenly decided to get all sweaty when he felt his arm brush up against Roxas's. Axel was good at not questioning things.

"Right, so are you two listening?" Demyx's voice asked from the speaker of the phone.

Roxas and Axel simultaneously rolled their eyes and answered with an unenthusiastic 'yes' each.

"Good. Now, after another week of putting up with you two moping and being your lonely emo selves, your friends have unanimously decided that the only way to get you two to talk to each other and sort out your shit was to trap you on top of the clock tower and block all your exits."

"Wait... what?" Axel looked at the phone is Roxas's palm in horror, and then he looked at Roxas in horror.

"Shush, Axel. No interrupting, okay?" Demyx's disembodied voice continued, "Anyway, you two are the two most perfect friends ever, and before this stupid kiss business, you guys were completely inseparable. Are you really going to let all those years of friendship go to waste? Grow up, assholes. Grow up and realise that one kiss isn't enough to end a friendship, and _Axel _running away and ignoring things doesn't solve anything either. So, like I said, we're all blocking the exits and we're aimed with water guns... filled with paint, ready to shoot anyone who comes down here. Keep your phone close and phone when you two have sorted stuff out, and if we deem you ready, you can both come down. Have fun."

Roxas locked his phone and placed it back into his pocket, all the while shaking his head at the situation that they had found themselves in.

"Why are we friends with these people?"

"Asking myself the same question." Axel answered, resting his back on the wall behind him and sighing.

A silence followed Axel's sentence.

"Axel-"

"Roxas-"

The two of them laughed when they realised that they had both started speaking at the same time, sheepish smiles adorning their faces.

"Er... you can go first." Roxas said, a hand coming up to scratch at his neck nervously. He still couldn't believe that Axel was up here with him. And he couldn't believe that Axel hadn't curled himself up into foetal position out of fear or something. The guy had been ignoring Roxas for ages now, and a large part of Roxas wouldn't be surprised if Axel decided to brave their paint-filled water gun toting friends instead of talking to him.

Roxas watched Axel's chest rise as he took a deep breath, and he prepared himself for what his best friend was going to say. It was weird that, even all that had happened, Roxas didn't think twice before calling Axel his best friend. And he wouldn't be able to stop even if he wanted to.

"Roxas..." Axel stopped, and Roxas watched as his head dropped down to his hands. There was so much emotional pain in that single declaration of his name that immediately, Roxas felt all the resentment and anger that had been building up inside of him because of his situation with Axel just melt away. They were both victims. There was no bad guy. Axel took a deep, shuddering breath, and without his friend even looking up, Roxas knew that he was crying.

"Hey... Look, it's okay. We both screwed up and handled this whole predicament so badly. So, so badly. I don't blame you as long as you don't blame me." Roxas soothed, his hand going out to rub at Axel's back. He winced whenever he felt Axel's back shake as he cried.

"No, you're forgiving me way too easily." Axel said, looking up and wiping at his wet eyes with the sleeve of his blue and black striped sweater. He felt like an idiot for crying, but it was okay because it was Roxas. Crying in front of Roxas didn't make him feel weak; it made him feel like he actually had emotions, "I'm such an asshole. Roxas... After we kissed I just freaked out. And I should have spoken to you, I really should have, because you actually wanted to speak... and I just... I completely fucked up."

Roxas couldn't look at Axel, not when his eyes were still wet from tears. Watching Axel cry killed him inside, but in a sick, twisted way... It liberated him. The fact that Axel was just as torn up as he was about the kiss meant that his best friend wasn't ignoring him because he was repulsed and sickened by what they did, he was just confused as fuck. Axel wasn't trying to cut all ties with him; he was just too scared to face reality.

"Look, Axel. I've missed you. Life without my best friend is boring as hell. I miss being able to text you when I think up some lame joke, or coming over to your place and watching b-grade horror movies with you. So... we don't have to confront all of this now, but if you promise that we WILL talk about this. I'm happy."

Axel nodded a shaky smile on his lips as he rubbed at his eyes again.

"Are we best friends for life again?" He asked, his smile widening as he saw Roxas roll his eyes in exasperation at his wording.

"Yes, Axel, we're BFFL's again."

"Good. Now come here, bro." Roxas laughed as he shifted closer to Axel so that he could position himself in Axel's outstretched arm, basking in the warmth that his best friend radiated.

"You know, it's kinda weird that you're always so warm."

"Shhh," Axel scolded, "we're having a moment. Don't ruin it by talking about how weird I am."

Roxas laughed again, and even though he couldn't see it, he knew that Axel was grinning.

"I'm glad that we're best friends again, Roxas." Axel whispered close to his ear, his warm breath causing Roxas to shiver involuntarily.

"Yeah... me too." Roxas whispered back, melting into Axel's embrace and looking over onto Twilight Town as it was bathed in the sun's warm, golden light. It wasn't what he wanted, if it was up to him Axel wouldn't _just _be his best friend. But if he had to settle for friendship in order to have Axel in his life, then he was okay with that. He would always be okay with that.

* * *

**Well, hi there.  
**

**This chapter...well. i don't even know. It kinda sorta just...killed me to write.  
****So i'd love to hear what you guys thought about it.  
****Ahh...i'm so freaking tired o.o so this note probably isn't going to make much sense...i'm sorry for being a fail. **

**Now, time to thank all the people that made my week!  
Thank you to **Moka nee-chan, mudkipluvr4ever, sakurasapprentice7, InkDrippingRose, Jenny -Xenj- Harris, fallenofthedark, VeniVediVici, ReliveTheGreat **and the other reviewer that just showed as 'Guest'.**

**Also, thank you to anyone who has alerted, favourited, or just read this. **

**Oh! And thank you for the birthday messages guys! :D i felt so loved ^.^**

** Aside from all my other kick-ass gifts, my best friend bought me a freaking KEYBLADE necklace. i love it and fangirl whenever i see it. **

**And now, i shall go crash on my bed because i don't even really know what i'm typing anymore... **


	8. Fantasies

**Disclaimer: I don't own so please can no one sue? **

7. You fantasize about them.

"**I've got more wit,**

**A better kiss,**

**A hotter touch,**

**A better fuck,**

**Than any [girl] you'll ever meet,**

**Sweetie you had me."**

**-Panic! At The Disco_Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off. **

As Roxas stood against the wall, the crowd of sweaty and intoxicated teenagers surrounding him, he couldn't help but feel the biggest sense of ironic déjà vu.

Sad, pathetic déjà vu.

The only difference being that this time, the girl that was dancing up against Axel wasn't going to disappear when the song was over. No, the girl dancing up against Axel was a permanent fixture in their lives now.

Roxas sighed and took a drink from the red plastic cup in his hand. He winced when the alcohol burned a path down his throat to settle in the pit of his stomach, coiling around his internal organs on its way.

"Hey there."

"Hi, Pence." Roxas replied, not even bothering to tear his gaze away from Axel and Naminé. He didn't have to, he knew his friends well enough to recognize them by their voices, even in a busy and noise filled room. And his friends knew him well enough to not question why he was staring at the couple on the dance floor with such intense disdain.

Naminé was a parasite in Roxas's eyes. An annoying leech that seemed to appear whenever Roxas finally managed to get Axel to talk about their friendship. And getting Axel to talk about his emotions was a feat. A feat that normally involved hours of gaming and sometimes a few drinks of an alcoholic nature. But every time that he succeeded, Naminé would burst into Axel's apartment in a cloud of girly perfume and white attire.

"What's up with all that white anyway?"

Pence looked at Roxas in slight confusion, but he was almost completely sober so, after following Roxas's gaze and settling on the white clad figure that was Naminé, he shrugged.

"I guess she likes to wear white."

"Does she think that it makes her look angelic or something? Is she trying to compensate for something?" Roxas asked, not really paying attention to Pence's replies and choosing to alternate between glares aimed in the girl's direction and sips of his drink. The childish annoyance in his voice made Pence chuckle before he replied to the blonde's questions.

"Even though I doubt that you're listening to me...why does she bother you so much? She's a really nice person, Roxas."

"Yeah. But she has Axel."

There was an awkward silence after that in which Roxas mentally kicked himself for being so vulnerable and Pence tried to think of something comforting to say.

He drew a blank.

Olette was normally the one who knew what to say, who knew how to diffuse an emotional situation with a well phrased sentence of sympathy or tactful humour that made everyone relax and fall into easy chatter once again. Pence even made her write the messages on the birthday cards that he bought for his parents. The girl was a walking Hallmark Card archive.

"I... don't really know what to say right now." He said, looking over at Roxas and tugging at the headband that he always wore.

Roxas shrugged.

"Then don't say anything."

They stood in comfortable silence, letting the music distract them from their individual thoughts and bobbing their heads to the beat. The music wasn't anything amazing, just some commercial shit that was easy to dance to and kept the crowd entertained.

It was strange; these people danced together, sometimes made out and told each other their biggest secrets. But it was all under the influence of alcohol, or whatever other substance they could get their hands on. And then, they see each other at school, or college, and don't exchange more than a simple 'hey, there'."

The human psyche was a strange thing.

"Mind if I have a sip?"

Roxas shrugged, handing his cup over to Pence who took a sip before grimacing at the liquid that was swirling around in the cheap plastic cup.

"What is this, anyway?"

Roxas shrugged again, the action seeming to be the only thing that his mind was capable of telling his body to do.

"No idea. I stopped caring about three cups ago."

"Rox..."

"No Pence. I am not suicidal, nor am I trying to drink myself into a coma. I'm fine, okay?"

Roxas took back his cup and, with a practised motion, threw his head back and downed whatever was left in it.

"I'm going to get a refill. You can go and report back to 'lette that I am FINE."

**XxXx**

Roxas wasn't fine.

No, Roxas stopped being fine a few days ago when he had woken up, his shirt clinging to him with his own sweat and his pants clinging to his legs with... something that wasn't sweat, after a detailed (dear fuck, it was detailed) sex dream. Now that alone wouldn't be cause for concern, he was a teenage boy after all, and teenage boys have hormones.

No, the thing that really fucked with Roxas was the fact that it was Axel invaded his dreams. It was Axel who kissed him passionately, and made him scream in ecstasy in his lust fuelled dream. At least... the idea had disturbed him in the beginning. But after a few dreams of a similar nature, in which the sex just got more realistic until Roxas could swear that he could still, hear Axel's breath in his ear... The guilt was pushed to the back of his mind and the dreams soon turned into fantasies.

They weren't all sex related though, sometimes Roxas just lay in bed and imagined what it would be like to just kiss Axel again, or what it would be like to wake up in the same bed as the red head after a night of talking. And then he would remember that Axel had Naminé to do that with and instead of the warm, cozy feeling that had covered him before, he was left with self loathing.

Self loathing over the fact that he wanted Axel so much yet Axel just saw him as a friend.

Roxas was driving himself insane.

Insane and desperate.

And that desperation grew as he watched Axel wrap his arms around Naminé, swaying to the beat of the music as his hands trailed over her fragile, feminine body.

"Ex-girlfriend?"

Roxas started out of his intense staring session and looked to his side where a brown haired boy was leaning against the punch table. Roxas had even forgotten that he was standing at the snacks and drinks table, his hand clutching at a cup filled with punch that had more alcohol in it than actual punch. His eyes gazed over at the boy quickly, taking in his dark blue jeans and unconsciously taking in the way that his white shirt clung to his upper body.

"What? No, I hate that chick." Roxas huffed, bringing up his cup to take a quick sip. He tried not to notice the lingering glances that the guy was giving him.

White, even teeth were revealed as the stranger's lips curved into a smile.

"Ex-boyfriend then?" he ventured, watching Roxas carefully for his reaction.

Roxas paused, his eyes lingering on Axel before he turned to address the boy. "No, not an ex. He's my best friend." A gentle smile played on his lips, the alcohol buzz making it seem like a good idea to be talking to this stranger.

The boy nodded and there was a silence as they stood at the table, dozens of their peers dancing around them.

"You like him as more than a friend, right?"

Roxas nodded, not even caring that he was so obvious that even a stranger could tell.

"And he likes you just as a friend?"

Roxas nodded once more and there was a short silence as the unknown boy seemed to be contemplating something, his brows furrowed in thought.

"Hey, wanna make out?"

Roxas almost exhaled fruit punch.

"What?! Dude, I don't even know your name."

The stranger shrugged, a sheepish smile adorning his features.

"Exactly. You don't know me, I don't know you. Let's make out."

He turned and started walking towards the staircase. The bedrooms were upstairs.

And for some reason, Roxas followed.

**XxXx**

They were lying on Demyx's bed, shirtless and breathless. Even though they had spent the good part of the past hour making out, there was still a space between them on the bed that reminded Roxas of the fact that they were strangers to each other. Music from the party downstairs caused the floor to vibrate slightly.

"I still don't know your name." He said, his hand rubbing at a hickey on his neck. The sensitive skin reminding him that he had just made out with a boy.

"What's your friend's name, the one that you like?" the still nameless boy asked, rolling over to his side so that he could look at Roxas as he spoke.

"Axel."

"Then call me Axel." He answered, the tone in his voice making it sound simpler than it actually was.

Roxas winced, running his hands through his own hair.

"That would be too weird. Can't you just give me your name?"

"What's it matter? We're both just using each other anyway."

"What if I wanted to see you again?"

The boy smiled.

"You don't."

There was a silence.

"You are the second guy that I have ever made out with."

"Shit, really?"

"Yup."

"So, are you just a prude, or did you just recently find out that you're gay?"

And there it was. The word that Roxas had been trying to avoid saying for weeks in his head to himself.

Gay.

He didn't have a problem with it. If he liked guys or girls, it wasn't really a big issue to him. And he never had cared what others had thought of him in the first place, so it's not like that word bothered him because he was ashamed of what he was or something. But it did make the whole situation more real when the word was said out loud.

He exhaled.

"Recently found out."

"Cool man. The club welcomes you."

Roxas chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Do I get a club jacket?"

The stranger, whose lips had covered his own only minutes ago, grinned at him. "Yes, you do. Rainbow coloured of course. "

Roxas laughed.

**XxXx**

The rest of the night passed without any major events. There were a few fights when the alcohol made some think that they were invincible, a few people decided that the cold weather wasn't enough to keep them out of the pool, and Roxas had played a stupid game of truth and dare with his friends.

The dares were lightweight things such as 'sing I'm a little teapot with actions.' Or 'serenade someone in the room.' And the truths were mainly things chosen to make people admit to awkward and uncomfortable things.

Roxas had decided after a few rounds that he was too tired to continue the game so right now he was seated on one of the couches in the lounge that wasn't occupied by a couple who were in the process of trying to devour the other's face.

Public displays of affection were so over rated and tacky.

He lay down on the free couch, covering his eyes with his arms in an attempt to drown out his surroundings. A sigh escaped his lips when he remembered the mysterious, brown haired guy who had basically disappeared once they had left the room. He knew that it was meant to be a quick hook up, but he couldn't help but feel a little used as he rubbed at his hickey.

"Hey Roxy! I've been looking for you, bro... Hey, what's that?"

Roxas opened his eyes to bright green ones that were currently glued to his neck.

"Er... It's just a hickey, Axel."

The red head frowned.

"Where'd you get a hickey from?"

Roxas shrugged. Sitting up and hugging his legs to himself so that his friend could sit on the couch as well.

"Doesn't matter. Where's your girlfriend?"

Axel flopped onto the couch, his long legs stretched out in front of him and his arms crossed. Roxas turned on the couch so that his back was resting on the arm rest, and his front was facing Axel.

"Naminé went home. She has an important class tomorrow that she doesn't want to be half asleep for."

"Aww, so poor Axel is all alo- are you pouting?" Roxas raised a golden eyebrow in curiosity at the expression that his best friend was wearing.

"Maybe." Axel answered, the pout deepening as he pushed his bottom lip out further and sank deeper into the couch.

"'cause your girl isn't here to cuddle with you?"

"Nope. 'Cause you won't tell me where that hickey came from."

Roxas placed his hand over the bruise protectively, a frown marring his features, "Why do you care?"

"I don't like the idea of someone giving you hickeys." Axel answered his voice low but sharp.

"I didn't realise that I had to get your permission whenever I wanted to make out with someone." Roxas shot back, his eyes hardening. This conversation was absurd! Roxas had never questioned Axel whenever he had come back from fuck knows where with his female conquests before Naminé had come into the picture. He didn't care and didn't want to know where the hickeys that sometimes adorned his neck were from, and he didn't want to know if they were only on his neck.

"You don't have to get my effing permission! Just stop being so freaking immature and tell me!"

"Fuck you, I won't. Just how drunk are you anyway?" Roxas hadn't been looking at his friend when he had asked the last question, so he couldn't be held responsible for the very feminine yelp that escaped his lips when a very angry, and slightly tipsy, red head tackled him and caused the both of them to fall off the couch.

Roxas landed on his back, his eyes widening when he felt his hands being pinned to his side by strong hands. Axel leaned in closer so that his breath was spilling over Roxas's cheeks. He probably did it to be more intimidating but it just made Roxas blush with the sheer close proximity of it all.

"Tell me who gave you that hickey, or I will tickle the fuck out of you." Axel growled.

Roxas couldn't help it. He knew that Axel was being deadly serious by the fact that there was no smile on his face but the idea of being tickled being the only threat that the red head had was enough to make him laugh out loud. Axel's eyes widened slightly with surprise when he figured out that the blonde beneath him was _laughing _at him. A feral grin played on his lips as he brought Roxas's hands up so that he could pin them both above the blonde's head where they could be controlled with just one of his hands. This was done without much resistance as Roxas was weak with laughter by this point.

"Oh, so you think that it's _funny_?"

Roxas stopped his laughter almost immediately when he saw Axel flex his fingers.

"Axel... no, don't do it!" Roxas cried out desperately.

Axel leaned in closer, the grin on his face growing, "And why shouldn't I?"

Axel's lips were really close to Roxas's own. Roxas felt his mind being clouded with lust and his judgement being clouded with all the alcohol that he had consumed and before he could question it, he had reached up to close that gap between Axel and himself. His lips brushed against Axel's, gentle and so fleeting that it could have been seen as a mistake by anyone else watching the exchange.

Axel's eyes widened and his body tensed over Roxas's.

"Shit... Fuck. Axel... I'm sorry." Roxas cried out desperately, waiting for a punch or some kind of verbal abuse from the temporarily stunned red head that still had his hands in a vice like grip. Roxas winced when the grip became painful. "Axel... Could you maybe let go of my hands?"

There was a long pause in which Axel gave no indication of having heard Roxas speak, but eventually he let go and climbed off the blonde. Roxas scurried away from Axel, leaning his back against the couch and hugging his knees to his chest. He couldn't believe his own stupidity, why would he do that after all the drama that the last kiss had caused? Why would he want to destroy his friendship with Axel?

Why was he so fucking weak?

Roxas looked up when he felt Axel's presence in front of him, the red head wore a blank expression and he had an arm stretched out for Roxas to take. Roxas frowned and got up on his own, Axel's strange behaviour starting to worry him.

Axel looked him in the eyes, and Roxas didn't know what he saw in those venom green eyes. But he felt his body relax when Axel sent him a gentle smile and a warm hand grasped his own, leading him away from the party that consisted of a few people who were too wasted to drive home that night.

**XxXx **

Roxas stood in Demyx's room and waited patiently while Axel locked the door, his drunken state making the task more complicated than it actually was. He assumed that Axel brought him up here so that they could finally talk about all the stuff that had happened recently, like the red head had promised that they would that day on the clock tower. He smiled when Axel turned around to look at him, but that smile soon slipped off his lips when he was pushed against the now locked door.

"The hell?!" Roxas cried, struggling against the grip that Axel had on his arms. His hands grasped at Axel's upper arms, his fingers digging into the flesh there out of shock. Roxas searched his friends face for any kind of explanation as to why he was pressed up against the door with Axel just centimetres away from himself, but the familiar green eyes were unreadable. Suddenly, Axel smiled.

"Hey there, Roxy." And then he nuzzled his face to Roxas's neck, each breath that he exhaled warmed the blonde's neck and caused his stomach to tie into violent knots. The grip on his arms relaxed and Roxas shakily brought his hands up to rest on Axel's shoulders, linking them behind his neck.

"A-Axel... What're you doing?" Roxas ventured, his breath hitching when lips closed around the skin on his neck, a tongue flicking out to tease the skin occasionally. He had to bite back a moan when he felt Axel's teeth graze against his now sensitive skin.

"Whoever gave you that stupid hickey doesn't deserve you Roxy," Axel mumbled against his skin, finally looking up from his exploits to smile at Roxas, "you're mine. You always have been."

Roxas swallowed, knowing that there was something very wrong with this picture but the distraction of Axel's lips, and the general feeling of _perfection_ that he felt at the moment made it hard to think of anything but the fact that he really, _really_ wanted to kiss Axel.

His breath had turned into short pants, and his fingers tangled themselves into red, silky hair, raking through them as he tried to clear whatever thoughts his mind could process. Roxas gasped when Axel started placing wet kisses along his jaw, stopping just at the corner of his lips. A hand went out to brush his blonde hair from his fac-

Blonde.

And suddenly, it all crashed onto him, a giant wave of guilt. Choking him with the reality of what they were doing in Demyx's room, out of breath and tasting of alcohol. 

"Axel... you're dating Naminé. This is wrong." Roxas placed his hands on Axel's shoulder, and even though he knew that he should have pushed him away at that stage, walked away from him and act as though nothing happened. He knew that he should have done the _right _thing.

But he couldn't.

So he waited. He stood there and he waited for Axel to say something, _anything _that would make the situation okay.

Axel sighed and rested his forehead against Roxas's own, and his hands pulled down the hands that were clutching at his shoulders so that he could interweave their fingers.

"I don't like her like I like you, Roxas. Don't you get it? I like you so much it hurts." He said his voice confident in the words that he was speaking.

"So, you'll break up with her for me?"

Axel winced, and his hands clutched tighter at Roxas's, "Roxas... you're still a guy. And... I don't know if I'm ready to accept that yet." He forced out, every word escaping from his mouth almost as if it caused him physical pain.

Roxas knew that those words should have hurt him, the fact that Axel didn't want to break up with Naminé because he wouldn't accept that he obviously liked someone of the same gender should have angered him, it should have been enough to make him push the red head away from him, it should have been enough to make him leave that room.

But Roxas stayed, a strange feeling of absolute calm washing over him as he stood there.

"So, what do you want to do?" He whispered, untangling his hand to cup at Axel's cheek, the tender motion making Axel sigh. After a quiet moment Axel finally answered.

"Let's have an affair." He whispered back, leaning in closer so that the immoral words were breathed out over Roxas's lips.

Roxas smiled, and completed the sin by taking the final step and closing his lips over Axel's, hating the fact that something that felt like absolute perfection to him was so very wrong. And, as Axel's tongue licked along the seam of his lips, making him gasp before his lips parted to allow Axel entry, Roxas tried hard to not think of platinum blonde hair. He tried to dismiss the sound of that feminine voice from his mind as Axel's hands trailed down his back and into the material of his shirt, pulling it off along with his own so that all that Roxas could think of was the feeling of skin burning against his own. And he tried really hard to not let the sharp twang of alcohol present on Axel's tongue register in his mind when the red head kissed him deeply, hands beginning to work at the buttons of his pants.

'_Let's have an affair.' _

Affair.

If that's what he had to be in order to have Axel, then so be it.

**Right. **

**So there we have it...the seventh chapter. I really don't like this one, so I'd like to know what you guys think of it. It was just very...meh to me. I think it was all the dialogue and stuff. **

**On another note, I start exams in about a week. The last set of exams that I write in high school. Am I scared? **

**Well, hell yeah.**

**Now, time for the names of the people that rock so hard it should be outlawed. **

**Thank you to InkDrippingRose, poisonedmelody, Uqluiorra12345, mudkipluvr4ever, moka nee-chan, fallenofthedark, ReliveTheGreat, lovelyxpeach, sakurasapprentice7, and TailsTheFox1996. **

**I apologise if any of your names have been misspelled. I don't have to convenience of copy-paste at the moment. **

**Also, thank you to anyone who has favourited, alerted, or just read this story. **

**The next update will come...sometime. I actually have no idea when I'll get a chance to work on it, but I'll make a plan to work on it when I have study leave. **

**Cheers, guys :D**


	9. Conversations

**Disclaimer: If something is copyrighted...i don't own it. however, my dog's name is Sora and yes, my dog is adorable.**

* * *

8. You find a way to mention them in every conversation, and don't even realise that you're doing it.

* * *

"**Could this be out of line? **

**To say you're the only one breaking me down like this****  
****you're the only one I would take a shot on****  
****Keep me hanging on so contagiously."**

**-Acceptance_So Contagious**

* * *

"Watching a movie and then having dinner afterwards is what we always do."

"EXACTLY. It's what we _always _do."

"There's nothing wrong with routine."

"We're stuck in a freaking rut."

"Rut is such a strange word..."

"We need to shake things up a little."

"And what do you suggest we do then?"

"A club maybe?"

"I hate clubs, you guys just get drunk and then I'm left to fend for myself."

"Fine, let's go watch a movie then, grandpa."

"That's what I said in the first place. And...Don't call me grandpa."

Roxas sat and organized the grains of sugar that he had poured onto the table into neat lines. A smile twitched at his lips as the argument that his friends were engaged in progressed.

It was always like this.

Whenever they managed to coordinate their busy schedules so that they could all spend time together, most of the evening was spent in petty bickering when no one could decide on what they wanted to do. They ended up watching a movie and having dinner afterwards every time, but the arguments still continued.

Roxas loved his crazy group of friends, but their indecisiveness was astounding.

Hayner leaned back in the plush seat that they were all seated on and sighed. "You guys know that I love you all, right? But you're all so boring. Let's shake things up a little."

Olette delicately raised an eyebrow and took a long sip from her strawberry milkshake. "The last time that we tried to 'shake things up' Pence almost got kidnapped by a drag queen."

At the mention of his name, Pence started turning a bright shade of red and sank down into his seat.

Larxene snorted at Olette's comment and retorted, pointing her chocolate milkshake coated straw in Olette's direction as she spoke. "It wouldn't have been kidnapping, Pence looked as if he was willing to consensually go with Rolanda."

Pence sank deeper into his seat with a mutter. "He made a very convincing girl."

"Or you're harbouring homosexual tendencies," Larxene replied, grinning around her straw before she took a long sip of the thick, chocolate flavoured drink. She groaned. "This place makes the best milkshakes ever."

Roxas took a sip of his own coffee flavoured milkshake and spoke up, brushing the grains of sugar off of the table and wincing when most of it ended up on his lap. "Are there any good movies out at the moment?"

"I was actually thinking that we could all go watch the new alien movie, the trailers for that looked pretty cool." Pence replied, sitting up and fiddling with his headband. His black hair stuck up even worse than usual at the back from where it had been pressed up against the red vinyl of the seats.

"Oh!" Roxas exclaimed, "Axel actually mentioned that movie to me a few days ago. We should watch it...he seemed pretty amped to see it."

Larxene sent Roxas a weird look but before she could open her mouth and voice whatever it was that she was planning to say, Demyx spoke up from his place at their table.

"Guuuuuys," the older blonde whined, looking around the cafe and grimacing, "did we have to come here? I work here, the last thing I want to do is hang out here as well."

Larxene patted his head distractedly, making the weird mullet slash Mohawk that Demyx sported even weirder.

"Oh shush, Demyx dear. Did you not hear me earlier? This place makes the most amazing milkshakes ever. Don't you get an employee's discount as well anyway?"

Demyx pouted into his giant mug of coffee, "I do. But it's still torture."

Roxas grinned, taking a giant bite out of his double chocolate chip muffin, "suck it up, bro." he said, his mouth still full.

After a short silence Hayner looked at the watch on his wrist and looked over at Roxas, "Are Axel and Naminé still planning on joining us?"

Roxas nodded, washing down his mouthful of muffin with a gulp of milkshake, "Axel said that they'd probably be a little late because Naminé had a late class today or something. Though we better leave once they get here, Axel prefers the back seats in the theatre and you know that those are normally like the first to go."

Larxene smirked, leaning in closer to Roxas from her seat across the table from him, "Have you ever realised how much you speak about Axel?"

Roxas's eyes widened and he spluttered, "I do not!"

Demyx laughed, all earlier unhappiness regarding his place of work forgotten now that the opportunity to tease Roxas presented itself. "Yes you do. I bet you don't even realise you're doing it."

"He's just my best friend, I speak about him as much as I should," he paused, picking at the crumbs that his muffin had left on the table and watching as the brown specks stuck to his fingers, "Get off my case, go back to teasing Pence and his hidden homosexual lust."

"Actually, could we maybe not-"Pence started, swirling his straw in his glass of soda broodingly.

"Just your best friend?" Larxene cackled, interrupting Pence's protest to the change in topic. Roxas raised an eyebrow at her in enquiry as she fell back into her seat, her laugh echoing off the walls of the small cafe and causing some of the cafe's patrons to turn and look at her in annoyance. The group of friends paid no heed to the people who were glaring at them, instead, Roxas questioned Larxene impatiently.

"What's so funny about the fact that I called Axel my best friend?" He snapped.

"You and Axel were never 'just' best friends," This time it was Hayner who spoke up, a small smirk curling onto his lips as he glanced over at his infuriated friend, "we're glad that you finally figured it out and accepted it, now we're just waiting for Axel to come to his senses."

**XxXx**

Axel had his lips attached to the side of Roxas's throat and his hands were steadily working at trying to inch the black and white checked t-shirt, that Roxas was wearing, off of the blonde's anatomy. Roxas felt a gasp leave his kiss bruised lips and he tangled his hands deeper into Axel's red hair in retaliation to the red-head's ministrations on his throat. As his fingers gently scratched at Axel's scalp and his back arched closer to the hand that was travelling up the front of his shirt, short nails scratching their way across his skin, Roxas suddenly realised that he had to ask Axel about something.

"W-we don't talk about each other that much, do we?"

"What'd you mean?" Axel didn't even bother to remove his lips from Roxas's skin, choosing to instead murmur his answer against it.

Roxas was finding it really hard to concentrate but he had to have this conversation now or he would most likely forget all about it later and the whole issue would remain totally unsolved.

"I mean...ahh," he groaned realising that no coherent thought was going to form in his mind when Axel still had his lips attached to his skin like that. He brought his hands up to Axel's face so that he could look into the pair of green eyes that he loved so much. Not that he would admit that to Axel. A statement like that would probably send Axel running out of his own apartment as he mumbled apologies of the situation feeling way too real again, "Larxene and company were just teasing me the other day about the fact that I speak about you constantly and don't even realise that I'm doing it. According to them, I mean."

Axel smiled, pressing a light kiss onto Roxas's nose and laughing when Roxas scrunched up his nose in annoyance, "well, that makes me happy."

"It does?" Roxas asked, brushing a stray lock of hair off of Axel's forehead and smoothing the rest of that untameable red hair back.

"Uh huh," Axel replied, his hands once again travelling up Roxas shirt where they began to trace lazy circles on his back.

"And why is that?" Roxas murmured.

"Because it means that you think of me almost as much as I think of you."

**XxXx**

Axel walked into the kitchen of the apartment that he shared with Demyx, his eyes widening in surprise when he spotted his roommate leaning against the kitchen counter.

"You're up before noon on a Saturday?" Axel asked, walking over to the cabinet so that he could locate the instant coffee. Instant coffee was awful, but neither of them had the patience for a coffee maker, "is something wrong?"

Demyx looked uneasy, his teeth were worrying his bottom lip and he was wringing his hands. His eyes, when he finally looked up from staring at the ground, were bruised and tired looking indicating that he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before.

"Axel...I know that we have a 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy in our roommate agreement," Axel smiled at the _Big Bang Theory _reference as he filled his mug with water from the kitchen tap.

"What about it?" he asked, placing the mug of water into the microwave.

When there was no reply to his question, Axel turned around to see that Demyx had his eyes firmly closed and an expression of something that looked a lot like pain was evident on his features.

"I can't keep pretending that it's not Roxas in that room with you."

There was a pause as Axel took in his friend's uncomfortable state, then he turned and removed his mug from the microwave before the timer had reached the zero mark.

"Oh."

Demyx finally opened his eyes, his previous state of awkwardness replaced with annoyance.

"Oh? That's seriously all you have to say for yourself?"

"What else do you want me to say?" Axel replied, shrugging nonchalantly as he spooned instant coffee into his mug, watching as the clear water dissolved the granules until the liquid in his mug looked almost black. His distorted reflection stared back at him, the complete indifference visible on his face shocking even him.

"Something more than just 'oh'!" Demyx exclaimed, "do you even realise what you're doing? Do you even _care_?"

When it became apparent that Axel was not going to attempt to answer his question, Demyx continued.

"I barely know Naminé, but I hate what you're doing to her. No one deserves to be cheated on, Axel. Especially not someone as sweet as she is. And Roxas..." at this Demyx dragged his hands down his face in exasperation, "fucking hell, Roxas. Do you even realise how much he loves you? No, of course you don't. I'm not even entirely certain that he realises how much he loves you."

Demyx started when he heard Axel speak, the red-head's voice so quiet that the sentence was almost missed.

"Where are you going with this?"

"Axel...why are you still with Naminé? End it. You...you want Roxas so why are complicating everything?" Demyx pleaded, the anger in his voice had faded.

"Because Roxas is a guy." Axel replied, sounding so broken and hurt that Demyx wanted to end the discussion, drop his bad guy persona and just hug the sadness out of his friend.

"Being gay isn't the end of the world, Axel."

"You don't understand Demyx," Axel clutched at the rapidly cooling mug of coffee that was in his grasp, the tips of fingers turning white from the pressure that he was applying to them. He shook his head, desperation leaking through his words as he tried to reason with Demyx, his voice cracked but he paid no attention to it, not even caring about the fact that he felt tears streaming down his cheeks. Tears that he didn't remember crying. He took a deep breath and tried to force his voice into something steadier, "I'm not like you. I can't just scream 'Fuck the world' and happily come out the closet!"

"Yes you can! You think it was easy for me? But I'm happy now, because I'm not lying to myself anymore." Demyx cried, "And you aren't just lying to yourself. You're lying to Naminé, and fucking with Roxas's feelings. It's not just about you anymore."

The mug of coffee was placed on the counter and Axel almost wanted to laugh at the trivial action. How dare that mug of coffee just sit there on the counter, looking so simple and uncomplicated when everything around him was turning into a fucking train wreck?

"I know." He said, hysterical laughter threatening to spill from his lips, "I know that I'm the bad guy. The jerk and I hate myself for it. But I'm _scared. _I'm so fucking _scared._"

"Axel, " Demyx had walked over to stand in front of Axel by this point, and his hands were firmly placed on his friend's shoulders, "Axel look at me."

When Axel finally turned his red rimmed eyes up to look at Demyx, the blonde man continued speaking.

"Your friends are here for you. We're tired of seeing you hurt the one person you care for the most, it needs to end. Okay?"

Axel didn't trust his voice to be more than a choked whisper, so he just nodded. And as soon as Demyx saw the nod, he pulled his friend close and hugged him, trying to chase away all of his uncertainty with that embrace.

**XxXx**

Axel stood nervously at the microwave in his kitchen, watching the numbers as they counted down to zero. He tried to not think of the fact that Naminé was seated in his lounge waiting for him to return with her mug of green tea. A small smile twitched at his lips when he glanced at the box of vile tasting tea that was on his counter. He hated the stuff, but it was present in his kitchen cabinets because Roxas practically lived on the stuff at one stage.

And there his brain went again.

Bringing Roxas into his every thought.

Axel sighed and reached into the microwave when the obnoxious beep sounded, indicating that he could take the mug out of the microwave.

'Is this what love is?' he thought, spooning honey into Naminé's tea, 'the inability to forget someone? To have them plague your every thought?'

"Axel?" Naminé's voice called out from the lounge, "do you need any help in there?"

Axel took a deep breath and tried to compose his features into something that didn't make him look like he was on the verge of a panic attack. Which he was.

"Ha ha, Naminé. I'm just making you tea; I think that even my limited skills in the kitchen can handle that." He answered, walking into the lounge with the steaming mug, as well as a glass of water for himself. He placed the mug on the coffee table that was situated in front of her and hovered awkwardly near her, the glass of water in his hands suddenly becoming very interesting when Naminé's blue eyes stared up at him in curiosity.

"Er...do you want something to eat? I think that Demyx bought some biscuits or something the other day. And I know that we have a few muffins left over that Roxas made," he winced involuntarily at the mention of Roxas, "should I get one for you?" he babbled, the words leaving his mouth before he could even process what he was saying.

"Axel. Sit down."

He sat, placing the glass of water on the table and attempting to hide his shaking hands from her view.

"I know that you called me here to break up with me."

Axel stared at her in shock, his mouth opening and closing as if he was attempting to say something. In the end he settled with a simple proclamation of "what?!" As near hysterical chuckles spilled from his mouth.

"Oh, don't give me that." She replied calmly, not a single trace of anger was present in her voice as she leaned forward to take the still steaming mug into her hands, "I'm quite aware of what a text saying 'we need to talk' means." She chuckled here, smiling at Axel as she shook her head, "though I have to say...I'm normally the one _sending _that text, not _receiving _it."

Axel winced, running his hands through his hair and trying to not think of the fact that Roxas had performed that very action the night before after Axel had distracted him long enough from his baking for a quick make out session.

No, Axel's brain. Do NOT think of THAT right now.

"Was it really that obvious?" he asked, not really knowing how to deal with the scene that was unfolding in front of him. Normally, when he broke up with a girl, the girl would be in tears by the time that he sat them down and told them that they needed to speak. Yet...Naminé's clear, blue eyes looked back at him with not a single trace of a tear in sight.

"Unfortunately." She laughed, taking a sip of her warm beverage.

"Why are you not crying? Or freaking out?" he cried, "I'm freaking out here!"

"Axel." She said, looking at him over the top of her mug, her mascara-darkened lashes framing her blue eyes, "I knew this was coming. And before you freak out, I'm not some kind of witch that can tell the future..." she trailed off and Axel even managed to lift his lips into a smile at her teasing, "you're fantastic, Axel. But you don't hide your emotions well." And at this, her eyes fell to stare into the depths of her mug, a touch of sadness finally entering her voice.

There was a short silence until Naminé spoke up again.

"Is it Roxas?" she asked, her voice so timid and soft that it might as well have been a whisper, "I mean...the person that you're breaking up with me for?"

Axel nodded, hating himself for being the reason that she looked so sad.

She chuckled softly, swallowing as she placed her mug on the table. "You know, in a sick way that actually makes me feel better. I should have known when I saw you two at the diner. Silly, silly Naminé."

"Naminé..." Axel's words trailed off when Naminé looked at him, a slight frown evident on her features. The expression was so out of place on her delicate features that Axel almost wanted to laugh out loud.

"You are planning to ask Roxas out, right?" she demanded, making the task sound so simple.

"I-i don't know." He broke eye contact with her, looking at his hands instead, "I can't."

"You can't, or you won't?" she asked, her voice suddenly taking on a more stern tone.

"You don't understand, Naminé...I can't. Roxas...he's..." she interrupted him before he could finish his sentence.

"No, you don't get it, Axel." She said, shaking her head at him, her pale blonde hair moving on her shoulders with the action, "the only difference between me and Roxas is the fact that I had a label. But that's all I was to you. A label."

"Naminé, I'm sorry -"

She shook her head, holding up a delicate hand so that he would understand that she needed to finish talking.

"I'm not fighting with you Axel, or trying to get you to apologise to me. I'm trying to make you understand your feelings for Roxas," she paused, and he looked at her, shock registering on his face when he saw the warm smile that she had on her face, "you don't look at me the way you look at him, Axel. You don't say my name the way you say his. I could never accumulate that much caring and affection from you. Don't get me wrong, you didn't hurt me, and you didn't neglect me, "she laughed faintly, "I just feel like the villain because you were using me as an excuse to not face your feelings for Roxas. You love him Axel; you just need to admit it to yourself."

Axel took a deep breath before he spoke up, he felt as though his heart was going to escape his chest via his throat with the frantic way in which it was beating. His hands were clammy and he wanted nothing more than to just leave the conversation where it stood. To just let her walk away now, believing that he wasn't the bad guy, that he deserved this kindness that she was demonstrating to him. But he knew that Demyx would find out, and he knew that it wouldn't be able to let her walk out of the apartment not knowing the full truth.

"Naminé, there's more."

"Oh?" she answered, sipping at her green tea again.

Axel swallowed, hating the way that the action sounded to his own ears. He had spent so long trying to find a euphemism for what he was about to say, but no matter how he said it, it was still going to hurt her. He spoke.

"I was cheating on you. With Roxas."

**XxXx**

Roxas was seated on his bed and an old and slightly worn out wooden box was open on the comforter in front of him. The contents of the box were spread out in front of him and he stared at them, not really absorbing every picture but feeling comfort in having them near him like that.

The box was a present from Axel for his 18th birthday. Axel had somehow managed to collect hundreds of pictures of the two of them from their various friends, and had printed them all out before placing them into the wooden box that he deemed as Roxas's memory box. Each one of the pictures had a message at the back of them, either Axel's caption of what was going on in the picture or the events leading up to the picture, or sometimes just a simple date.

It was the best present that he had received that year.

"Roxas?"

The blonde looked up from the photographs when Sora's form appeared from behind his previously closed door.

"Yeah?" he asked, tilting his head to look at his friend in curiosity.

"Er..." the brunette stepped into his room, rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly before he placed both of his linked hands behind his head. Roxas frowned at his friend's obvious tell. Sora always did that when he was nervous or uncomfortable.

"What is it, Sor?" he demanded, crossing his arms to glare at the brunette.

"Kairi wanted to know if you maybe wanted to...come to the movies with us."

Roxas looked at him in disbelief. "And play third wheel?"

"Well, Riku will be there."

"You're...YOU'RE TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH RIKU?" Roxas shouted, looking at Sora as if he had just suggested mass murder.

"Wasn't my idea..." Sora muttered, a pout forming on his lips as he looked at his shoes.

Roxas sighed. This just screamed of something that his friends would come up with. He hadn't even been out the closet for a month before they decided that they were going to set him up with someone. And Roxas loved them for all their affection and interest in his life but...did they have to try to set him up with someone that was involved in the infamous Kairi-Sora-Riku love triangle?

Roxas shook his head, sighing as he regarded the uncomfortable looking brunette in front of him. "Sora, it's fine. I'm okay here by myself tonight."

Sora was out of there without a glance back in Roxas's direction.

Roxas let out a chuckle at the look of total relief that had washed across Sora's features as soon as he had heard the words 'it's fine' leave Roxas's mouth. He looked over at the pictures on his bed once again and smiled when a particular one caught his eye. Reaching over he picked it up and ran his thumb over the image of Axel's face, the smile on his face softening without him really meaning for it to.

The picture was taken when Roxas was fifteen and he cringed slightly at his awkward teenage state. Roxas and Axel were on the Clock Tower and Axel had his arm thrown over Roxas's shoulders as they smiled into the camera. The photo was kind of awkward as the late afternoon sun meant that they were squinting, and their lips were blue from the sea salt ice cream that they had eaten before the picture was taken, and they had to turn to face the camera at a weird angle because Olette, who had taken the photo, was standing to the side nearest to Roxas.

But...Roxas loved that picture. The happy, blissfully unaware smiles conveyed what their friendship was at that stage.

And it contrasted horrifically with what their friendship had become.

Roxas sighed and started placing the photographs back into the box. And he kept glancing over at his phone with a heart that felt as it was about to spontaneously combust in his chest at any moment.

**XxXx**

Axel had been expecting a bunch of different scenes to unfold after he told Naminé about the affair.

What he was not expecting though was for her to suddenly get and point a finger at him accusingly.

"DO YOU SEE?" she shouted, and Axel almost wet himself when he realised that Naminé was angry enough to raise her voice. Naminé NEVER raised her voice. She even spoke in a soft, calm voice when she was experiencing road rage.

"W-what?" he stuttered.

The blonde girl took a deep breath before she spoke again and, although her voice was no longer at a volume loud enough to alarm the neighbours, there was still anger present in her words.

"You would CHEAT on me with him, but you won't _date _him?" she cried, exasperated at Axel's foolishness, "look...this is getting too weird, even for me. So I'm going to leave now." She shook her head as she grabbed her bag from where it had been on the floor next to the couch that she had been occupying.

"Naminé." She looked at Axel when she heard the red head say her name.

"Yeah?" she replied, pulling on her coat.

"I am sorry, you know."

She sighed, "I know that you're sorry, Axel. The very fact that you told me shows me how sorry you are. I should be angry, I should be cursing at you, and throwing things at you...I should be angry, not upset like I am now. And the thing that's making me upset is the fact that you're still stringing Roxas along. You hurt me, Axel. Don't hurt him too." She pleaded, and a sigh escaped from her lips when Axel refused to look up and meet her gaze.

She stood at the door to Axel's apartment, looking at her now ex-boyfriend.

"Roxas won't put up with this forever, Axel. Do something before you lose him."

Axel watched her walked out, his body feeling numbed to the very core. he didn't want to dwell on Naminé's words but they struck him cold, the thought of losing Roxas was almost enough to make him grab his jacket and run down to the blonde's apartment to see him.

Roxas wouldn't tire of Axel's indecisiveness, would he? His best friend understood that Axel just needed time to really understand and sort through his emotions.

Axel almost laughed at how inane those words sounded, even to his own ears.

The red head jumped when his message alert tone sounded in the quiet apartment. He reached for his phone and unlocked it almost automatically, the motion feeling like a reflex action to him by now.

And, as he read the words on the brightly illuminated screen, he felt as if his world as crumbling around him, leaving him grasping desperately at the falling debris as it threatened to bury him alive.

* * *

**New Text Received from: Roxas **

**(19:07)**

I can't do this anymore.

* * *

***Insert evil laugh***

**Yes...cliff-hangers...cliff-hangers everywhere! **

**...yeah, I need sleep. **

**Anyway. **

**I know that every writer probably claims to have like, thee best reviewers ever...but I honestly don't think that they know what they're talking about. Because, obviously, I have the most amazing reviewers EVER. I read every one of your reviews at least five times, because they're just THAT awesome. **

**Seriously. I mean, you guys even wish me luck for my exams. You're all so amazing.**

**So thank you to: L. , InkDrippingRose, ReliveTheGreat, mudkipluvr4ever, NotAlwaysRainbowsAndButterfl ys, fallenofthedark, Moka nee-chan, sakurasapprentice7, poisonedmelody, Uqluiorra12345, TailsTheFox1996, KuroChaos01, and the guest reviewer. **

**And thank you to every person who had alerted, favourited or just taken time to read this. **

**Last chapter someone reviewed but they didn't sign in so I couldn't message them to answer their question. So I'm gonna answer it here and hope that they see: **

**First of all, THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEW. And to answer your question...nope. The brown haired guy is not Sora; it's just some random guy. I thought of making it Sora, but I thought that it might make things awkward since Roxas and Sora are roommates. Really awkward. **

**Secondly, when I saw your review I immediately went to school that day and accused my editor of reviewing in the sly. Because, get this, she had just finished reading 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' a few days before I got your review and you referenced the book in your review. Weird, right? **

**I hope that you all enjoy the new chapter. **

**I am now going to study organic chemistry and try really, really hard to not plan out the next chapter in my head. **


	10. Apologies

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters. **

**I also don't condone the abuse of alcohol. I'm a good influence. **

**This chapter is dedicated to the lovely Moka nee-chan. I know that life seems pretty crappy right now, but it'll get better, I promise babe. I'm here when you need to talk though, I might not offer the best advice, but I care. And, I hope this equates as a good enough plan on Axel's side. Please don't throw a desk at me.**

* * *

9. They complete you.

* * *

"**I'm frozen with this fear,**

**That you may disappear, **

**Before I've given you the truth."**

**Hot Chelle Rae_Bleed**

* * *

Roxas had switched his phone off almost as soon as it had indicated that the message to Axel had been sent. The device was then tossed somewhere in the general direction of his door and he then curled himself into foetal position on the floor, his hunched over form leaning against the foot of his bed. His eyes kept flickering over to the wooden box that was placed on his desk, his fingers twitching with the need to grab it and stare at those photographs just a moment longer so that he could burn the image of Axel's face onto his eyes.

So he didn't have to think about the message that was probably being read by Axel at that precise moment.

If Roxas closed his eyes, he could almost see his best friend's face as he read the message, the little lines between his brows that appeared whenever he was confused, or angry, present as he stared at the screen of his phone in slight shock.

Or major shock.

Roxas wasn't sure how Axel would take it.

He didn't want to know.

He didn't want to think about what he had done.

So he sat there on the floor, his arms tightening their hold on his knees as he pressed himself into a tighter ball, burying his face onto the dark material of his jeans as the deep heaving breaths that he was taking eventually turned into desperate sobs that made breathing into a difficult task.

He hated crying.

It was easier to cry when he was angry or frustrated. But crying because he felt sadness became an entirely different matter. Because crying takes out all the anger from sadness. And sadness without anger is just raw and painful and emotional. Something that threatens to erase all joy from one's life, and leave one feeling empty and confused. Roxas didn't want to feel empty and confused. Not over Axel. Not over his best friend.

He laughed, the noise sounded so pathetic in the silence that surrounded him in that room that he winced when it echoed back into his ears.

Could he even call Axel his best friend anymore?

Hayner's words replayed in his head, the fact that Axel and him had never been 'just' best friends. But where did that leave them now?

They tried the 'more than best friends' thing Axel's way and Roxas couldn't do it anymore.

If they were never 'just' best friends, what was there to go back to?

With a strangled sounding whimper, Roxas let his head fall back into the cradle that his knees provided, trying to forget the world just until chest stopped feeling so empty.

And that was how Sora found him hours later, curled up in the dark of his room and trembling slightly from the exhaustion of crying.

"Roxas?" Sora called softly, pushing open the door to Roxas's room. His eyebrows furrowed in worry as he took in the form of his roommate. The person that was refusing to look up at meet his gaze right now was a completely different person to the one that he had left only a few hours before.

Sora and Roxas weren't the closest of friends; in fact, they only became friends when they became roommates. Roxas had seen a flyer on the university notice board advertising Sora's need for a roommate and after a few infuriating months of living with Pence...Roxas was ready to giving anything a try. The first few days had been awkward, but it had become comfortable after a while, and the tense roommate friendship had turned into real friendship. And if there was one thing that Sora valued, it was his friends.

So when the blonde didn't reply to him calling his name, Sora quickly walked into the room, taking in the sight of the cell phone that was on the floor near the door, and the sound of the little gulps of air that Roxas was forcing down.

Sora had never seen Roxas cry.

"Roxas?" he tried again, sitting next to the blonde on the floor, his hand shooting out tentatively to rest on a shoulder.

There was another desperate gulp of air as Roxas tried to steady his voice. "I-I'm fine."

A warm smile donned Sora's lips even though he knew that Roxas couldn't see him in the dim lighting of the lamp that illuminated the room.

"No you aren't. So, you gonna tell me what happened?"

Sora brought his hand down from Roxas's shoulder, placing it instead on the floor between them. Roxas didn't speak for a while, and the only sound that could be heard was that of the two boys breathing. One calm and the other erratic.

"Axel was cheating on Naminé." Roxas paused, his fingers tracing inconsistent patterns on the floor near his feet, when he spoke again his voice was quiet, "with me."

There was a stunned silence and Roxas didn't really blame Sora for not saying anything. How does one respond to something like that?

"Roxas...cheating is so wrong..." Sora shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around the information that he had just heard, "you're my friend, and I know that you probably had your reasons for doing it but – wait. You said 'was'. Axel WAS cheating." The brunette turned around completely so that he was facing Roxas, and his hand was once again placed on Roxas's shoulder.

"Roxas, what happened?"

"I ended it." a noise that sounded like the beginning of a laugh left Roxas's lips, "everything. I ended everything. Our affair, our friendship, everything." The words were forced out as Roxas felt his lungs compressing in his chest, choking out all of his air and making it harder to breathe.

They sat there for a few minutes, Roxas wallowing in the self pity that came with doing the right thing, and Sora trying to absorb all that he had just heard.

Finally, the brunette spoke up, a bright smile on his face as he nudged his roommate's shoulder with his hand.

"There's only one logical thing to do now!" he exclaimed, the smile becoming brighter when Roxas finally looked at him.

"Suicide?" the blonde muttered darkly, the intensity of Sora's smile giving him the beginnings of a headache.

"Not even funny. ACTUALLY, I was talking about getting shit-faced. Alcohol is a totally unhealthy but effective way of making you feel better!" he replied, standing up and dusting his hands on his jeans.

"Sky-boy just said 'shit'. It's the freaking apocalypse." Sora felt an intense sense of relief when he heard the words, the teasing lilt to them an indication that Roxas wasn't feeling as crappy anymore. And, when Sora looked at Roxas after tugging him up from the floor, there was a small smile pulling at Roxas's lips to prove the lift in spirit. He laughed, pulling at Roxas's arm to get the other boy to leave the room with him.

"Shut up, emo kid. Let's go get wasted."

**XxXx**

Demyx stood at his front door, humming the tune to his favourite song to himself as he searched through the pockets of his jacket for his keys. His fingertips were tingling from the few hours that he had spent lazily strumming an acoustic guitar over at Larxene's place. She always acted as if his presence in her apartment was an inconvenience, but Demyx knew that beneath the sarcastic and bitchy remarks, Larxene enjoyed his company as much as he enjoyed hers. They had spent the entire evening playing a sort of musical guessing game in which Demyx would strum a tune on the guitar and Larxene had to try and guess what it was.

He had arrived unannounced at Larxene's with a sheepish smile and a pizza as a peace offering, after being told by Axel that Naminé was coming over so that they could talk.

Demyx hated confrontation.

So, even though Axel had said nothing to him about leaving the apartment, the blonde had gathered up his keys and walked out of there. The last thing that he wanted was to be in the same space as those two when Axel finally came clean about everything.

It had been a good few hours, however, and Demyx was certain that it was safe to enter his place of residence once again.

He frowned when the door was finally opened and the apartment was revealed to him. He had expected a huge mess from Naminé throwing large and breakable items at Axel.

But...the apartment was in complete darkness apart from the moon light that streamed in through the curtains that were wide open in the lounge. His hands groped at the wall near the door as he blindly searched for the light switch.

He wasn't afraid of the dark.

No way.

He just preferred it when he wasn't surrounded by unfamiliar darkness.

Throwing his keys into the 'key bowl', Demyx sighed and turned to face the lounge as his left hand ran through his hair.

He almost screamed.

In fact, if you asked Axel about the incident, Axel would swear that Demyx did, in fact, scream.

"AXEL!" he exclaimed, a hand clutching at his chest desperately as if the action would calm his erratically beating heart, "why are you sitting in the dark?"

Axel looked up from his position on the floor, and Demyx realised that his venom green eyes were lined in red. Almost as if...

"Were you crying?"

"No."

"Then you're stoned."

"No...Fuck Demyx...leave me alone, would you?"

Demyx frowned, making his way over to his friend and seating himself on the floor next to him. He smiled gently, the smile not wavering even when Axel scowled at him in response.

"How did the talk with Naminé go?" he asked, nudging Axel's leg with his own, trying to coax an answer from the dejected red head in front of him.

"It... It went surprisingly well, actually." Axel looked at him in slight confusion, "she was strangely accepting and she seemed more upset about the fact that I wasn't planning to ask Roxas –"

He broke off from his sentence then and looked at his phone. His hands clutching at the device so tightly that Demyx could see that the tips of his fingers were white.

"Axel?"

"Roxas... he..." Axel gave up trying to voice his thoughts when he felt the pin prickling sensation that came when a new tirade of tears was threatening to fall. He handed his phone to Demyx and instructed him to go into his messages and check the most recent one from Roxas.

The silence that filled the apartment as Demyx was reading was suddenly broken when Demyx inhaled sharply. His wide eyes stared at Axel in disbelief but Axel just shrugged, taking the phone from Demyx's lax grip and turning it over in his own hands. The green eyes that were normally brimming with mischief were downcast and filled with defeat as they stared at the illuminated phone screen.

Demyx shook his head, trying to get something other than 'fucking hell, Roxas ended it' to compute in his mind.

"Why aren't you at his place with a boom-box and a dozen roses trying to get him back?" he finally asked, "why are you _here_?"

Axel scowled at him, dropping the phone onto his lap and crossing his arms as he stared at the wall in front of him.

"I really screwed up, Demyx. Roses and a musical serenade just won't cut it. Also, my life isn't a cliché romantic comedy." he replied sarcastically before the scowl faded, and his voice dropped an octave. "I can't lose him, Dem."

Demyx smiled gently. "Do you love him?"

Axel swallowed, looking down at the floor as spots of pink appeared on his cheeks. "Yeah, I do."

Demyx smiled wider before he threw an arm over Axel's shoulder, hugging his friend close to his side. Axel yelped in surprise, but he didn't try to fight the sudden embrace.

"Then what you do next is simple." Demyx stated, letting go of Axel and cupping his face so that he would look at him, "you're going to think up a majorly romantic and sincere speech proclaiming your love for Roxas, AND, "Demyx continued sternly, "you're finally going to ask Roxas out. Properly. But first. You need to get some sleep, I'm gonna phone Sora tomorrow morning and tell him to make sure that Roxas is home when you get there. 'Kay?"

Axel rolled his eyes, but a smile was tugging at his lips as he answered his friend, "Yeah mom, I got it."

Demyx grinned, "Good boy."

As Axel got up from his position on the floor, stretching out his tense muscles with a wince, Demyx spoke again.

"Axel? I –" he looked down at his hands, frowning a little as he tried to figure out the best way to voice what he was trying to say, "I know that it all seems a little scary now, accepting something that you want to think is wrong. But sometimes... sometimes we have to just do things and not over think them, you know? We have to just do them because it feels right. And you and Roxas? There's nothing wrong there. It's just...right."

**XxXx**

Axel stood at the door of his apartment, his hand hovering over the doorknob and his jaw tense. This whole scenario seemed so much easier last night after talking to Demyx, after being reassured by Demyx that he was about to do the right thing. But now...now he was trying his best to not throw up as he stared at his hand.

"Axel? You know that you can't really stand there the whole day right?"

Axel's eye twitched.

"I know _that_, Larxene. I'm just...building myself up to it."

"See, Larxene? Axel's not going to chicken out."

"Of course he isn't. He's just 'building himself up to it'," even though Axel had his back turned to her, he could clearly, in his mind, see the sarcastic way that she was making those quotation marks in the air as she spoke those words, "then, once he leaves the apartment, he's going to 'build himself up to' walking down the stairs, and once he's accomplished that, he's going to 'build himself up to' crossing the street."

Axel sighed.

"I hate you, you know that?" he said, his tone lacking the anger to make the words truly hurtful.

"You don't hate me; you hate the situation you put yourself in."

Demyx snorted in laughter.

"Thank you, Dr Phil."

Axel sighed again, turning around so that the door was pressed against his back as he slid down to sit on the floor. He hugged his knees to his chest, the action providing the comfort that he was seeking at the moment. When he looked up at Demyx and Larxene, he scowled.

"Why am I even friends with the two of you? You suck at making me feel better."

Larxene grinned widely, throwing an arm around Demyx's shoulder before leaning her head against his.

"Think of us as the personification of Life. When you're all down and depressed, we'll be here," she paused, "to kick you in the shins."

Demyx smiled, nodding his head in affirmation.

"Figuratively, of course. We would never really kick you. Well, I wouldn't, can't really speak for Larxene."

The blonde duo watched Axel as he pulled at one of the many zippers adorning his black jeans, his fingers trembling slightly with the fear that they knew threatened to overwhelm him very soon.

"What are you so afraid of, Axel?" Demyx asked, crossing his arms over his chest and frowning at his friend.

"Rejection." The red head answered easily, not even looking up to meet Demyx's gaze.

There was a pause here as Demyx looked at Larxene, helplessness written on his features as he gestured at Axel before putting on his best puppy dog face.

"No," Larxene said, walking over to Axel, "we are not going to baby him." She then grabbed at Axel's arms and pulled him up so he was standing. She opened the door and, with her hand firmly on his lower back, she pushed him out of the apartment, "this is me playing Life again. What are you more afraid of? Rejection or the reality that you may have lost Roxas?"

Axel stared at her, before dropping his gaze.

"Losing Roxas." He whispered.

Larxene smiled.

"I thought as much."

She then closed the door in his face.

**XxXx**

As Axel stood at the door to Roxas's place, he felt like he was about to pass out. Or throw up. Or quite possibly both. His hands kept clenching involuntarily, his short nails creating crescent shaped indentations in the skin of his palm, and he could feel a thin film of sweat forming on his forehead, even though all he was wearing was a t-shirt and a thin jacket. He took a deep breath and, after wiping his suddenly clammy palms on his jeans, knocked on the door.

"Just a minute!" he heard Sora's voice call from beyond the door, his voice clear even through the barrier separating them. He frowned, however, when Sora spoke again, this time in a hushed whisper, to someone that was obviously standing right in front of the door. Axel could even see the shadow that the person made leaking through from under the door. He couldn't hear the conversation, but the annoyed way that Sora said, 'Fine! But you're dealing with it!' indicated that it was not a pleasant one.

The door finally opened and Sora stepped out to join Axel. The smile on his face looked strained as he waited for Kairi to join them.

"Er...Roxas is in there, like I promised Demyx. But...uh, it doesn't seem like he wants to let you in." The brunette explained, his hand rubbing at his neck awkwardly, "I tried to get him to open the door and speak to you like a normal person, but he's pretty freaking stubborn." Sora grimaced, rubbing at his eyes. "It's bright out here, isn't it?"

Axel looked at the younger male in amusement, his eyebrow rising in surprise as he took in Sora's blood shot eyes.

"Do you have a hangover from hell or what?"

Sora's eyes widened and he looked at the door anxiously.

"Shhh! Kairi can't know. She'll just give me another lecture and I _really_ don't think that I could sit through another one of those."

Axel grinned, "You're taking Kairi out for lunch...and you really think that she won't be able to tell?"

"...shut up."

It was then that Kairi finally stepped out of the apartment, the smile that was always present on her face brightening up the bleak day that Axel was having.

"Hi, Axel." She greeted warmly before she began to rummage around in her purse for something.

"Hey there, Kairi." Axel replied, the nervousness beginning to overwhelm him again as he stared at the door that she had just stepped out of. He could still see the shadow lurking there, and he almost smiled as he imagined the scowl that Roxas would be wearing as he stood there, glaring at the door.

Kairi finally her hand out of her over sized purse and produced a pair of sunglasses, which she handed over to Sora.

"For your hangover." She explained when Sora looked at her and the shades in confusion.

Sora laughed awkwardly. "I'm not hungover, silly."

Kairi raised an elegant eyebrow, a smirk adorning her lips. "You really think that I wouldn't be able to put two and two together, sweetness?" she drawled out, enjoying the guilt that Sora wasn't even attempting to hide, "you and Roxas both look like the poster children for the after affects of alcohol abuse. Shame on you, Sora. You ARE taking me out to lunch in this condition and you will NOT complain about the raging headache that you probably have right now."

This entire speech was delivered with the sweetest smile but even Axel could see how much Kairi was enjoying herself.

Sora pouted and placed the sunglasses, which he had snatched from Kairi's grip, onto the bridge of his nose. He wouldn't admit it, but his shoulders visibly relaxed once the glasses filtered out the intense light from the hallway.

"I'll wait for you outside, he said, nodding a goodbye to Axel.

Kairi stood next to Axel for a while, while he stared at the scuffed toes of his black combat boots, before she spoke again.

"I spoke to Naminé, you know." She paused, "we actually got kinda close while the two of you were dating." Her tone was soft and betrayed no emotion. Axel winced, but when he looked up to face Kairi, expecting to see a glare aimed at him for the way that he had treated Naminé, he was surprised to see a smile on her lips. She placed a hand on his arm gently, the pressure of her fingertips so light that he could barely feel the touch beneath the material of his jacket.

"I hope you get your guy, Axel."

And then she turned and walked down the staircase, following the path that Sora had taken only minutes before. As nervous as Axel felt, and despite the fact that he could feel his heartbeat in his eyes, Axel allowed himself to smile out of surprise at what had just happened.

Finally he took a deep breath and steeled himself for what he had come there to do.

"Roxas?" he called out, the clarity of his voice and the confidence that it demonstrated surprising him because he felt about ready to wet his pants. There was no response and Axel felt his shoulders deflate before he sank down to the floor, pressing his back against the wooden barrier that separated him from Roxas. He knew that Roxas was there, just as he knew that the scowl on Roxas's face had probably intensified when he had heard his name.

"Look, I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to me. I'm a complete and total jackass for the way that treated you. But –" he paused, frowning a little, "okay, before I go off on a whole tirade I need to know that you're willing to give me a chance to explain myself. Explain to you why I'm even here right now. So...if you're willing to listen, you don't even have to talk to me, just please let me know. Somehow.", he clenched his hands, forcing down the bile that was creeping up his throat as he realised that Roxas could have gotten up and walked away while he was speaking, "Knock on the door or something, just once, to let me know that you're still on the other side of this door and willing to listen and that me sitting here right now isn't completely futile." His confident voice was a complete facade compared to the way that he was actually feeling. Axel unclenched his fists stared at his trembling hands, breathing in deeply in an attempt to get his frantic heart to calm down a little.

There was complete silence.

And then, like a ray of sunshine on the shittiest and gloomiest Monday, he heard a knock, right next to where his head was resting against the door.

"Thank you." He said, the words coming out as no more than a gasp as the breath, that Axel had unintentionally been holding, escaped him all at once. He licked his lips before willing himself to continue talking.

"I spent hours last night trying to think up some romantic gesture for you. I was even considering the whole 'musical serenade and Roses' deal," laughter bubbled from his lips as he brought his still trembling hands to rest on his lap, "but I realised that that wouldn't really work since you aren't that kind of guy. And...Your apartment is nowhere near the ground so I probably would have ended up serenading the weird lady on the first floor who owns all those cats...and... That's not really the point that I'm trying to make.

"I also thought of planning this speech so that I wouldn't end up going on about weird cat ladies. But every amazingly romantic speech that I tried to come up with just ended up sounding hollow and shallow. Nothing could convey my emotions and how I feel about you. I'm not even doing a very good job right now." He stopped, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"I was planning on writing a speech," he continued, "some long and complicated deal with a whole bunch of quotes to somehow make me sound like I had a clue as to what I was doing. Or maybe something from one of your favourite songs. But I realised that it would have been false. Fake. And I know that you must be so freaking tired of me being fake. Of me not being myself, to you and everyone else." He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, the false confidence that he had felt dissolving into nothing as his voice shook when he spoke.

"So here I am Roxas. Completely broken because I've finally realised that I may have just lost you forever. And, fuck, Roxas. I never knew how much that single thought could scare me until now." Tears were freely trailing down his cheeks now, and he impatiently brought a hand up to swipe at them, continuing his speech even though he had to take deep breaths while he spoke because his sobs were threatening to choke him.

"I know what you're probably thinking; I mean... I did ignore you after we kissed. After I kissed you. But in a sick way that time didn't affect me as much, because that was me ignoring you. And I knew that all I had to do was talk to you, and we could sort the whole thing out. You didn't hate me then, and in my own twisted way I just knew that you were still there for me if I needed you. But now...now I really screwed up. And I know it. And..." Axel stopped talking, breathing in shakily before he continued in a voice that was lost and desperate. "I can't bear the thought of losing you Roxas. All I have to do is think about the fact that you could possibly want nothing to do with me and I break into a cold sweat and it feels like all the air has been forced out of my lungs.

"I'm so scared of all that I feel for you. Because until a little while ago, I didn't see you as anything more than my best friend. But," he swallowed, and it felt like his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth but he forced the words out, trying to force the fear of rejection out along with them, "I love you, Roxas.

"And this loving you thing... it scares the fuck out of me. It scares me because I don't know what to do; I'm so terrified of the idea of being so completely dependent on you. Of the fact that I can't stand to be away from you for long, that the thought of you with anyone else makes me see red. But I'm mostly terrified of the fact that when I'm not with you, it feels like a part of my soul is missing. I'm complete when I'm with you Roxas. And yes, I realise that I'm probably quoting every cliché romance that every existed but hey, maybe that's what love is. Maybe love is just giant, sappy cliché. But I want to experience that with you, I'm hopelessly and completely in love with you, and it scares the fuck out of me but I'm not going to run away from it. I'm tired of running away and hurting you just because I can't face up to reality. And I know that you really don't have to even listen to me right now because I've been such a jackass. But Roxas...I want to be with you. I want to date you. No more secrets. No more hiding. No more affairs. I...I even broke up with Naminé yesterday. And she was strangely accepting and it was weird and I still don't understand that, but I guess I'm trying to make you understand that I really am serious about this dating thing, Roxas.

"But, if you don't want to date me then I'm okay with friendship. It'll kill me, but I'll take whatever I can get. Because I need you in my life." Axel stopped talking, biting his bottom lip and clenching his eyes closed. His hands were clenched tightly into fists that were forcing his nails to dig into his palms.

There was no answer from Roxas.

Axel tried to not gasp at the pain that was over flowing in his chest, at the pain that his heart was feeling. He knew that there was a very strong chance that Roxas wouldn't want to speak to him when he was planning his apology the night before. But that still didn't make this situation any more bearable. A voice at the back of his mind told him that he should probably pick his sorry ass off of the floor and leave Roxas, since he had fucked up so badly that his best friend, the person that he loved, obviously wanted nothing to do with him. And he wanted to listen to that voice, he really did, but he felt so deflated that even the thought of getting up made him feel weak.

So he sat there, leaning against the door to Roxas's apartment and cradling his head in his hands. He didn't care about the tears that he was shedding and didn't care about the sad, pathetic whimpering sounds that he was making. Nothing mattered.

After what felt like a lifetime to Axel, he felt the door shift against his back, and he quickly scurried away from the door and tried to stand up as quickly as he could. His scrubbed at his cheeks with his hands and he felt his breath catch in his throat when he looked up from staring at his shoes and the mangy, beige carpet to stare into Roxas's blue eyes.

Blue eyes that were shiny and lined with damp eyelashes, the tear trails that ran down his cheeks clearly visible against his skin.

"D-did you mean that?", Roxas asked, his gaze determined and stern despite the fact that his lips were trembling, "all that stuff about breaking up Naminé and wanting to date me?" the scowl was present on his features as he stared at Axel.

"Every single fucking word." Axel replied, looking Roxas dead in the eye.

And then Roxas smiled.

And before Axel could really process anything past that amazingly gorgeous smile that was for _him_, Roxas was suddenly in front of him, and then there were hands fisting into his shirt and he was being pulled down so that his lips collided clumsily, and yes, _beautifully,_ with Roxas's. And then he broke out of his trance and wrapped his arms around Roxas's waist, pulling him close so that he could _feel _him and prove to his body that this was real. Roxas's lips were parted when a soft sigh escaped him and Axel used this opportunity to slide his tongue into Roxas's mouth, loving the way that it all felt so...

_Right. _

Roxas pulled away slowly, placing one last kiss onto Axel's lips before resting his forehead against Axel's. They both had their eyes closed, but when Axel opened his briefly he saw the content smile that Roxas was wearing. They were so close that Axel could feel every breath that Roxas exhaled on his own lips, the air tickling the now sensitive skin. And when Roxas spoke the next sentence, the words weren't heard as much as they were felt against Axel's lips.

"I love you too."

* * *

**I am Jack's sense of total and immense guilt.**

**This chapter is a week late, and although it really isn't a very long wait, I still feel awful. BUT I had a pretty hectic two weeks with exams. There's good news though, i'm not writing another exam until Friday so I plan to have chapter 10 out and posted soon. That's right. Chapter 10.**

**THE LAST FREAKING CHAPTER, PEOPLE.**

**Can you believe that? I sure as hell can't...**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, you're all amazing, fantastic and overall AWESOME individuals.**

**Thanks to: KuroChaos01, Moka nee-chan, InkDrippingRose, fallenofthedark, Yakusoku-Xion, mudkipluvr4ever, SawyerElliott, Uqluiorra12345, poisonedmelody, Vedovis, sakurasapprentice7, TerrenceG9, NotAlwaysRainbowsAndButterfl ys, and .**

**Thank you as well to anyone who has favourited, alerted or even just read this story. Your support means the world.**

**I almost started crying when I was writing that last scene between Roxas and Axel. Fml. I'm so pathetic.**

**I'm thinking of doing a Sora/Riku one shot as a side story to this story, what do you guys think?**

**Right. So...I better get back to doing nothing. Enjoy your week everyone :)**


	11. It's not awkward

**Disclaimer: i claim no ownership to Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters. So, like, don't sue yeah?**

**This chapter is dedicated to every single person that has reviewed this story. You have no idea how much your support means to me.**

* * *

10. Being with them just feels...right.

* * *

"**There's nothing wrong with the way**

**I light up when you're around."**

**Artist vs Poet_Miserably loving you**

* * *

Never had the front door to the diner been more intimidating as it was at that exact moment.

Roxas stood outside in the weak sun that was common in the weeks after winter. The kind of sun that should warm a person up but didn't since it was mostly just there for show, as a way to trick people into believing that winter was really over. Axel stood next to him, his cupped hands framed around his eyes in make-shift binoculars that he used to try and peer into the interior of the establishment with. Their friends were seated inside, Axel couldn't see all of them but he could see the back of Demyx's blonde head, and he could see the crazily styled bangs that belonged to Larxene atop the head next to Demyx's.

They had sent everyone in their group of friends a text telling each one of them to meet them inside the diner. The text messages were vague and he was sure that the unruly group inside were anxious to find out what was going on.

Roxas sighed, rubbing at his cheek as he tried to fight off the wave of nausea that had steadily been growing ever since he had woken up that morning. He looked at Axel who was still leaning into one of the giant windows that made up the front of the diner.

"Why are we doing this again? Couldn't we have sent out a mass text...maybe an email?" he asked, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

"No, we agreed that we wanted to do it this way." Axel replied, turning away from the diner's window and looking at Roxas with a raised eyebrow, "actually, you insisted that we did this. I was okay with letting them figure everything out on their own"

"Yes...but..." Roxas looked at Axel in desperation.

Axel laughed, throwing his arm around Roxas shoulder, and loving the feeling of the familiar gesture that now held so much more meaning.

"What are we so nervous about anyway? They're just our friends."

Roxas snorted, leaning in closer to Axel's embrace, "...exactly. They're our _friends_. Our crazy, immature, annoying as fuck friends."

"...good point."

**XxXx**

Larxene took a long, slow sip of the chocolate milkshake that she had ordered.

"Mmm, not bad...but still not as good as the cafe's." She announced to the people who were seated at the table with her, "Remind me why we're here and not there again?"

"Axel and Roxas told us to meet them here." Demyx replied, looking up from the music theory notes that were placed on his lap.

"BECAUSE," Hayner added onto Demyx's sentence, "they know how much Demyx hates us being in the cafe that he works at."

"I'm going to respond to that in a very dignified and mature way." Demyx said, before he stuck his tongue out and pulled a face at Hayner.

The group laughed at their friend's antics before Olette looked up from her glass of orange juice with a slight frown.

"Why do you think that they told us to meet them here?" she queried, swirling her white straw around in the pulpy juice.

Sora shrugged, folding his arms behind his head as he looked around the small, cozy diner.

"I'm not sure, but since we're all here...i'm guessing that it has something to do with their relationship."

"You saying that they finally sorted everything out?" Pence asked, his eyes widening slightly as he looked at Sora.

"I'm not sure..." Sora replied, fiddling with the crown shaped pendant that he always wore, "but when I got back from, er, lunch with Kairi, they both weren't there and Roxas only came home later that night. He wouldn't tell me anything though."

Olette frowned, the lines between her eyebrows deepening as she leaned in closer to the group so that she didn't have to speak loudly in order for them to all hear her.

"But they're going to do that _here?" _ She asked, cocking her head to indicate the diner, "where Axel's _ex-girlfriend_ works?"

Kairi, who had been silent for most of the meeting, shrugged slightly before she turned her head to look at where Naminé was busy taking the orders of a family a few tables away from them.

"Yeah," Kairi answered, "Naminé's cool with the whole thing."

It was only when Kairi spoke that the group of friends realised that Sora and Kairi weren't seated next to each other. Those two were inseparable, but seeing the way that Sora's shoulders tensed up when they looked at him inquisitively, they decided to drop the issue.

"Still," Hayner said, glancing over at the door when he heard the bell that was placed above it let out a soft ring, "isn't it weird for them to announce anything to do with then being a...couple in a place where she might hear?"

Kairi once again just shrugged her shoulders, smiling at Roxas and Axel when she saw them walk into the diner and towards their crowded table, they were still too far away to hear the conversation, so she answered Hayner's question.

"I think that they realise that whatever they have to say to us...Naminé deserves to hear as well. Especially since she told Axel to ask Roxas out."

**XxXx**

Axel took a deep breath and smiled at his group of friends. It was insane how nervous he was. It wasn't like they were Roxas's parents that he needed approval from or anything. They were just the people who would probably maim him if he hurt Roxas again.

Yeah, that's all.

"Roxas and I have an important announcement to make."

Axel should have known better than to break the news that way.

"You're getting married?"

"Roxas is pregnant."

"No wait! Roxas is a vampire!"

"Nah, Axel is more vampire material. Though Roxas could totally be a werewolf."

"Er...no, actually – ", Roxas tried to interject.

"Oh, I know! You guys are starting a band?"

"You've already started a band and now you guys are famous and now you're both here to give us money?"

"Ooh, money..."

"Would you all just shut up for a minute?!" Roxas cried, laughing despite how nervous he felt.

His friends all stared at the pair anxiously, trying to act nonchalant even though they were overflowing with joy. They were fooling around obviously. They knew what the announcement was.

You'd have to be dense to not notice the way that Roxas and Axel were acting around each other. The way that Axel's hand brushed against Roxas's as if by accident and the gentle smile that Roxas donned whenever he looked at Axel.

Just as Axel was about to speak up again, Naminé walked up to the group and, after greeting them all, sat down with a small smile on her lips.

She smoothed down her work apron over her knees before looking up at Axel and Roxas expectedly. There was a ripple of discomfort amongst the group, as they all looked at Naminé and then at the pair. Despite what Kairi had said, the situation still felt a little awkward. But Axel just returned Naminé's smile and took Roxas's hand in his own, interlacing their fingers before finally announcing the news.

"Roxas and I are dating."

**XxXx**

There was a lot of applause that followed announcement, and once the cheering had finally died down, to the relief of Roxas and Axel and all the patrons of the diner, there was a unanimous agreement that the celebration needed cake.

More importantly, ice cream cake. The kind that was packed with bits of Oreo and chunks of fudge, and made you rethink everything that you had ever eaten prior to it.

Axel and Roxas were being cute and whispering to each other and after watching it for a few minutes, Hayner had decided that he needed another form of entertainment. So he turned to Naminé and asked the question that had been bugging them all.

"Why doesn't this bother you?"

Naminé blinked in surprise at Hayner's sudden question.

"Why should it?"

"Because that's your ex-boyfriend feeding ice cream cake to the guy he cheated on you with." Hayner stated bluntly.

"Hayner!" Olette gasped before hitting him on the shoulder, "tact!"

"Oh yeah," Hayner glanced at Olette, "sorry." He then turned his attention back to Naminé.

"So?"

Naminé sighed, placing her spoon on her plate and wiping at her mouth delicately with a serviette.

"It doesn't bother me because a little part of me always knew that Axel wasn't mine. His heart belonged to Roxas even before Axel himself realised It." she answered easily, maintaining eye contact with Hayner the entire time she spoke.

Hayner was quiet, and a small smile finally formed on his lips.

"Cool." He replied, turning back to his slice of cake.

"That was deep." Pence said, nodding his head slowly as he licked ice cream off his spoon.

Naminé giggled.

The comfortable chatter resumed amongst the group but was disturbed soon after when Demyx, very loudly, announced that Larxene owed him money.

Roxas raised an eyebrow as he watched Larxene reach for her wallet and pull out a note which she then handed to a smirking Demyx.

They had all stopped their conversations by this stage and were staring at the pair.

"So what do we say?" Demyx taunted, waving his prize in front of Larxene's face.

"You were right and I was wrong." Larxene said through gritted teeth, the words looking like they were causing her pain.

"Aha! That's right!" Demyx exclaimed, "You were WRONG."

"Enjoy this moment, it'll be the first and last time that I lose a bet to you." Larxene spat out, a scowl on her face as she watched Demyx bounce around in his seat in glee.

"A bet?" Roxas asked, his eyebrows raised in curiosity, "you guys took out a bet? On what? I mean...Larxene NEVER loses a bet."

"We took a bet out on you. Well, on Axel really." Demyx answered happily, rubbing his prize money against his cheek while Larxene watched in disgust, "Larxene bet me 50 munny that Axel would chicken out before he got to your apartment and just turn back for home. But he didn't chicken out so I win!"

Roxas stared at them in disbelief.

"You guys took out a bet on us?!"

Axel was glaring at Larxene at this stage.

"You bet _against _me? You really didn't think that I was man enough to go talk to Roxas?"

Larxene rolled her eyes before pointing an ice cream covered spoon at Axel.

"You panicked before you were even out the door of your OWN apartment. Do you blame me?"

Roxas was still staring in shock and disbelief.

"You guys took out a bet on us?!"

"Oh relax," Demyx said, waving Roxas off before returning to his ice cream, "we do it all the time. We have to do something to keep ourselves entertained."

"Yeah," Larxene continued, 'in fact..." she grinned, "Our next bet is on Mr Sunshine and friendship over there, "she indicated to where Sora was seated, "finally realising that he's in love with Riku."

Sora almost inhaled his spoonful of ice cream.

There was a ripple of laughter as everyone watched Sora go an interesting shade of red due to the fact that he was embarrassed at having been singled out, and also the fact that there was a good amount of ice cream in his lungs.

"Ha ha, funny guys." He wheezed out when he was able to breathe again, "You two need social lives." He added, pointing at Larxene and Demyx who were almost in tears by this stage from laughing so hard.

Roxas sat back in his seat, watching the antics with an amused shake of his head. Axel sat back as well, leaning his head against Roxas's and smiling when he felt a hand seek out his own.

"That didn't really go as badly as we thought, did it?" Axel whispered, watching his group of friends as they teased Sora mercilessly, "I have to say though, their concentration spans are awful."

Roxas chuckled, turning his head so that he could give Axel a chaste kiss on the cheek, "yeah," he replied, "it could have gone a whole lot worse."

"Aw, Roxie, is that all I get?" Axel said with an over dramatic pout, "'cause I don't think that i'm okay with that."

Roxas was grinning by now. "Wait, you want _more_ than a kiss on the cheek? I don't think that I understand."

Axel just smiled before capturing his boyfriend's lips in a gentle kiss.

"Ew, go get a room!"

"PDA is not okay! Ha, that rhymed..."

Roxas giggled into the kiss.

**XxXx**

**New text message received from: Axel **

**(16:08)**

Meet me at the Clock tower at 6?

I'll bring ice cream, and I swear I won't pull a Demyx.

**New text message received from: Roxas**

**(16:10)**

I'll see you there :)

**XxXx**

"I was starting to think that you weren't going to show up for a second." Axel announced as he watched Roxas walk up to where he was seated on the Clock Tower.

"And miss the chance at free ice cream? No way." Roxas answered with a grin, taking a seat next to Axel on the ledge that they always sat on. He fidgeted for a second, before taking a deep breath and quickly placing a kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. He kept telling himself that it was okay, kissing Axel wasn't really that much of a big deal. But the thought of doing something as simple as placing a quick peck on his cheek caused Roxas's heart to speed up and his face to flush a deep red. He felt like a little kid when he thought about his relationship with Axel. But that wasn't because the relationship made him feel uncomfortable. Quite the opposite, in fact. It was just that his feelings for Axel made every small action into something so much more. Especially now that he wasn't Axel's affair anymore.

Axel grinned and reached next to him for the small paper bag that was there. Placing his hand into the bag he pulled out two ice cream bars, one of which he handed over to Roxas.

Roxas raised an eyebrow in question as he took the ice cream from Axel.

"Yes," Axel said as he rolled his eyes and began to unwrap his own ice cream, "it's sea salt."

Roxas smiled. "You know me well."

"Of course I do." Axel replied easily, the tip of his tongue coming out to lick at the ice cream before he placed it into his mouth.

Roxas hummed as he ate his ice cream, looking out onto the various lights that belonged to Twilight Town. The streetlights and lights from windows where people were busy with their lives, intermingling to create something that looked like a page from his 'connect the dots' book from when he was a kid.

"You know," he said, keeping his eyes on the lights and not looking at Axel, even though he could feel the red head's eyes on him, "I was kinda scared that once the whole all of this was over, you know...you asking me out properly and stuff, that this," he indicated to the both of them, "would become awkward."

"Awkward? Roxas, this is you and me that you're talking about. We don't do awkward."

Roxas chuckled. "Yeah, I know. But that's when we were just friends. But I was really scared that once we called this a relationship it wouldn't be the same. That once the expectations were placed on us, expectations of what couples are meant to act like and be like...we would change and it would just be...awkward."

"But?"

"It isn't. Nothing about being with you is awkward. It's just...right."

Axel smiled as he took another bite of his ice cream. "You're such a romantic, Roxy. Proclaiming your love for me on a clock tower while the city sleeps beneath us."

"It's only six, people aren't asleep yet."

"Poetic licence."

Roxas rolled his eyes but laughed anyway, shaking his head as he licked the melting, blue Popsicle in his hand.

"You know," Axel said, slowly moving his hand so that it rested, palm up, in the space between them. "Demyx said something similar to that. About the fact that some relationships just feel right."

"You dated Demyx?"

"What? No, oh gosh, no." Axel shuddered dramatically, his hand still in the space between himself and Roxas. "He just gave me a lot of advice recently."

Roxas smiled and took sucked the last bit of his ice cream into his mouth before glancing over at Axel and seeing the hand that was placed so close to his own. He slid his hand over Axel's and interlaced their fingers, loving the feel of the other's hand against his own. It was insane how much Axel's touch affected him.

"It's been a hectic few months, hey?" Axel said the Popsicle stick in his mouth as he looked over at Roxas with a lopsided smile.

"Yeah, it has," Roxas replied, "but I really like the way it all turned out."

**XxXx**

Roxas was leaning against Axel's car, as he waited for the red head to come back from locating a bin to discard of their rubbish. There was a group of high school girls standing and giggling a little way away from him but Roxas didn't really pay any attention to them, and glanced at his watch instead.

Did Axel get lost on his way to find a bin? Roxas had been waiting for a good twenty minutes now.

When he looked up again, he realised that one of the girls from the group was walking over to him. The girl was cute, and she kept glancing back at her friends, who giggled and glanced at Roxas, as she walked over to him.

"Hi." She said, waving at him and smiling nervously.

"Uh, hi." Roxas replied, smiling in amusement when the girl started blushing.

"This is really random and kinda embarrassing..." she said, biting at her lip and avoiding eye contact with Roxas, "but I told my friends that I think that you're really attractive and they said that I should ask you for your number."

"Oh?" Roxas asked, his eyebrows rising in surprise.

"Wow, Roxy. I can't leave you alone for a minute can I?" Roxas startled at the sound of Axel's voice so close to his ear. He looked up and noticed that Axel was smiling at the girl.

"Hi, there." He said the smile widening.

"Hi..." the girl said, looking slightly confused.

"Roxas is attractive, isn't he?" Axel continued, draping an arm over Roxas shoulders and still continuing to smile at the now flustered looking girl, "he's also really smart, and he has the most amazing sense of humour. And he's stubborn as hell, but also one of the most caring people I know."

"Okay..." the girl stood with her arms crossed at her chest, looking at Axel with a hint of annoyance, "so then, can I get his number?"

"Well no." Axel replied, "cause you see...the best thing about Roxas, the thing that I think is the most unbelievable and amazing, is the fact that, well," he paused and pulled Roxas closer to his side before placing a chaste kiss on the unsuspecting blonde's lips. He grinned at the girl who was now staring at them in shock.

"He's _mine_."

* * *

**OH MY WORD GUYS, IT'S COMPLETE.**

**I honestly didn't think that my attention span was going to last this long. **

**This was basically the longest thing that I've ever written, and I don't know if anyone else noticed, or if it's just me, but I really think that my writing has improved and changed a lot from when I posted up chapter one until now. It seems easier somehow. **

**The names that made my week: Moka nee-chan, Uquiorra12345, mudkipluvr4ever, fallenofthedark, Yakusoku-Xion, , sakurasapprentice7, poisonmelody, InkDrippingRose, Yahto, and the guest reviewer. **

**Wow, so where do I even begin with the thanks? I want to thanks every SINGLE person that has ever reviewed this story and especially those that reviewed every chapter or posted up long ass reviews that made me smile and even blush when you complimented me. Without your support...I don't think that this story would be what it is. I'd also like to thank all of you for putting up with me when I complained endlessly about my exams. They're all completed by the way, i'm free: D**

**I'd also like to thank my amazing editor, who put up with all of my bitching and complaining. You're amazing Daniel! Seriously. Anyone else would have given up on me by now. **

**I don't mean to sound needy but I'd LOVE it if every person who has favourited, alerted or even just found the story now, at its end, to leave me a review or send me a PM telling me what you thought. It's my first multichapter story; I'd like to know what you all thought of it. **

**And...I guess it's time to say goodbye. It took me longer than it should have to write this chapter, but I think that a small part of me really didn't want it to end. **

**Once again, thank you. **

**-Meeka**


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